Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY DECEMBER 14, 2020

Business……

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Entropy has us outnumbered.

Error is often more earnest than truth.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Even if the grass is greener on the other side: they, like you, still have to cut it.

Even paranoids have enemies.

Every silver lining has a cloud around it.

Every solution breeds new problems.

Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re
cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
—Joan Rivers

“I never feel more alone than when I’m
trying to put sunscreen on my back.”
—Jimmy Kimmel

“Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody
Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”
—Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

“Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce.
Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are
eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.”
—Lessons from the Minivan

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
The other day I was eating in an Italian restaurant when I accidentally spilled some spaghetti sauce on my favorite white sweater. I wasn’t too distressed, though, because Mr. Wong down on High Street has been doing my laundry for years, and I knew that he could remove just about any stain and get it out like it’d never been there. So I took the sweater down to Wong’s Laundry and dropped it off; Mr. Wong said he’d probably be able to have it cleaned by Thursday. So on Thursday afternoon after work I stopped by Wong’s again. Mr. Wong looked quite distressed when he saw me. He brought out the sweater and, apologizing profusely, explained that somehow this stain was beyond even his power to expunge.

And sure enough, though fainter than before, there was still a distinct red stain on the sweater. In an attempt to make up for his failure, Mr. Wong offered to send the sweater to his brother across town, who had been in the laundry business for an even longer time, and who might have a clue as to the method of removal of this extraordinarily persistent stain.

The elder Wong brother would rush it through at no extra charge, and should have it looking as white and clean as new by Friday. So on Friday I went back to Wong’s to pick up my sweater, but when I arrived, Mr. Wong regretfully informed me that his brother, too, had failed to remove the red blotch. “No charge,” said Wong, “but you must take sweater elsewhere to clean. The Moral: … Two Wongs cannot make a white.”

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known…
I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”

Answer: Sleepless in Seattle
“Sleepless in Seattle” features the phone call that stops a nation, late one Christmas Eve. Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) is listening to a late night talk show when she hears young Jonah Baldwin call Dr Marcia Fieldstone, worried about his father’s unrelenting grief after the death of his wife. Sam Baldwin (Tom Hanks) reluctantly takes the call from his son and begins a stilted conversation with the radio doctor. Annie hears this poignant conversation and is struck by Sam’s heartfelt description of the first contact he ever had with his wife.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Poetry doesn’t belong to those who write it; it belongs to those who need it.” Mario Ruoppolo, a humble, inarticulate and sensitive man, discovers his own longing for poetry through his encounter with famous Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, in exile on a remote Italian island. Gradually this new world of imagery and metaphors becomes, for him, a vital vehicle for recognizing and expressing his emotions, opening his eyes to the world around him, hearing the voices of nature, developing a political conscience, and, above all, winning the heart of his beloved.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Below is a (very) short story with 10 capitalized words or phrases which are anagrams of words that all fit in a certain category. Can you find the anagrams and determine the category?

NOTE: One of the answers contains two words.

A recently PAROLED man named Ari was going to ROB A PEARL boat of all of its FIG FARE. The boat was just off of the SHORE. He put on his BALM and donned his TOGA to SNEAK aboard. ARI GOT ALL of the NEAT HELP he needed from a safety pin that kept his toga IN PLACE.

Answer: LEOPARD
POLAR BEAR
GIRAFFE
HORSE
LAMB
GOAT
SNAKE
ALLIGATOR
ELEPHANT
PELICAN

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
This teaser is based on ‘funny’ alternative definitions a word could have if you broke the word up into its syllables and treated the syllables as words in themselves. I will provide a list of words and a list of definitions, it is your job to match them up.

They are meant to be a bit light hearted and may not have perfect
pronunciation so work the words in your head a bit. Having the definitions should provide help in this regard. Also note that sometimes the ‘new
word’ syllables may not only be using one syllable in the word.

An example would be:
Word: Contemplate “Con template”: A stencil that criminals are made from.

Words:
Parasites
Sudafed
Enticing
Bargain
Counterfeiters

Definitions:
Cake component made of Tolkien treefolk
Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets
The term given to the profits made by a pub
Brought litigation against a government official
What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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