Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY JANUARY 5, 2021

Gender………

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will
pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love
him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married
men are a lot more willing to die.😁

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there’s
no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand
a woman: before marriage & after.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh is a sort of glorified internal massage,
performed rapidly and automatically. It manipulates and revitalizes corners and
unexplored crannies of the system that are unresponsive to most other exercise
methods. Author unknown

Man, when you lose your laugh
you lose your footing. Ken Kesey

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes
back down to your hips. Author Unknown

It was not a laugh but merely a
loud smile. Author Unknown

Seven days without laughter makes
one weak. Mort Walker

A laugh is a smile that bursts.
Mary H. Waldrip

Laughter is the sun that drives winter
from the human face. Victor Hugo

[L]aughter on one’s lips is a sign that
the person down deep has a pretty
good grasp of life. Hugh Sidey

Laughter is the sensation of feeling
good all over and showing it principally
in one place. Josh Billings

Carry laughter with you
wherever you go. Hugh Sidey

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried,
could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an
idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut some wood
and build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up. She spent all day
chopping, hauling and stacking wood. Subsequently, she wound up
shredding the sleeves of her habit.

Later that night, as the other nuns came into the rectory, they were
delighted to find the place warm and cozy, with a big fire roaring in
the fireplace. Then Mother Superior comes in and yells, “Sister Mary!
Go fix your torn habit this instant!”

Sister Mary, crying, asks, “But Mother Superior, aren’t you happy that
the abbey is warm?” To which the Mother Superior replies, “Yes,
but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve.” 😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
Wooing a lady is no easy task…

Answer: “La vita è bella” (“Life is Beautiful”)
“La vita è bella” won three Oscars and was nominated for Best Picture as well. The film is in two parts. Guido, played by Roberto Benigni, comes to the Italian city of Arezzo in the hopes of setting up shop. Dora, played by Nicoletta Braschi, literally falls into his hands and Guido sets out to woo her. In the dark times in Fascist Italy, it isn’t easy, especially since Guido is Jewish. “Buon giorno principessa!” is his opening line to her; who said that pick-up lines don’t work?
The second part of the movie happens when Guido and Dora are married and have a young son. They get carted off to a concentration camp, and Guido uses all his facilities to keep his family alive and full of hope. The use of humour and wit in a Nazi concentration camp is ironic, yet, this is how Roberto Benigni’s character manages to protect his son from being scarred by the atrocities the Nazis commit in the camp.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Your name is John Coffey? “Yes sir, boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Four well known sayings have been reworded below. Can you identify the originals?
Example : Lack of awareness brings elation. (Ignorance is bliss.)

  1. Stop sleeping and sniff the java.
  2. Fine items approach people who have patience.
  3. One should not rate a volume by the lid.
  4. Progress to the rhythm of another bongo player.

Answer: 1. Wake up and smell the coffee.

  1. Good things come to those who wait.
  2. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
  3. March to the beat of a different drummer.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Cindy, a High School cheerleader, told her fellow cheerleaders that she was worried about changing for practice in their locker room. Seems that she over heard the science teacher, Dr. Smith, telling the Principal that he had just invented an invisibility potion which turns whoever drinks a sip of the potion completely invisible for 24 hours. The bad news was that someone had stolen a bottle of it from Dr. Smith’s lab. Cindy was worried that the thief was a guy and that he might already be invisible, hiding in their locker room and waiting to watch them undress. Jane, the Head Cheerleader and President of the Science Club, believed Cindy since she knew Dr. Smith was working on the potion, but told her they had nothing to worry about. Since Jane did not steal the potion or know who had stolen the potion, how could she be so sure their privacy would not be compromised?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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