WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JANUARY 20, 2021
The Laws of Household Physics.
Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as
every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:
- A child’s eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse
proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.
- Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.
- A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.
- The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.
- The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.
- Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.
- The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of
TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.
- The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.
- The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.
- What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.
- Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that
which is not, and, therefore, the foundation of all invention and
innovation. In its arguably most transformative and relevetory
capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathize with humans
whose experiences we have never shared.
J. K. Rowling, Harvard Commencement Address, 2008
Language is the source of misunderstandings.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900 – 1944)
Of course, there is no formula for success except
perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and
what it brings. Arthur Rubinstein (1886 – 1982)
And the day came when the risk to remain tight
in a bud was more painful than the risk it took
to blossom. Anaïs Nin (1903 – 1977)
Our deeds determine us, as much as we
determine our deeds. Marian Evans
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth
when you know that you would lie if you were in
his place. H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)
And that’s the world in a nutshell,
an appropriate receptacle. Stan Dunn
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after he’d
lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. “We’re
sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information
about your wife.” “Well…tell me!” he demanded. The policeman said, “We have
some bad news, some pretty good news, and some really great news. Which do
you want to hear first?” Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkins said, “Give me the bad
news first.” So the policeman said, “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but we found your
wife’s body this morning in San Francisco Bay.” “OH MY GOD!,” said Mr. Wilkens,
overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked,
“What’s the good news?” “Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she
had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her.” “Huh?”
he said, not understanding. “So, what’s the great news?” The policeman smiled,
licked his chops, and said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”😱😳😁😎
Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Pardon me, sir, but I lost my ID in… in a flood and I’d like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me?
“”Why certainly. I lost my wife, too – her name wasn’t Idy, though, and it wasn’t in a flood – but I know what ya… “
Answer: American Graffiti
In the events leading up to this scene, Curt Henderson (Richard Dreyfuss) and Steve Bolander (Ron Howard) are spending one last night with some of their friends in their hometown before heading off to college in the morning. In this scene Terry “Toad” Fields (Charles Martin Smith) has been goaded into buying some liquor by his new girlfriend Debbie Dunham (Candy Clark) with the line, “I bet you’re smart enough to get us some brew,” and he parks himself outside a liquor store. As a bum enters the store Terry speaks the first line to him and he replies with the second. A few minutes later the bum runs out of the store after an apparent robbery and pitches the bottle to Terry as the storeowner runs to the doorway and starts yelling. In the 1974 Academy Awards, “American Graffiti” was nominated in five categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “The Sting”). It is commonly misbelieved that the American TV series “Happy Days” was a spin off from this movie. In actuality, the pilot for the series was seen on the TV show “Love, American Style” and it aired before “American Graffiti” began production. The episode was titled “Love and Happy Days” and it aired on February 25, 1972. That episode featured eventual “Happy Days” cast members Ron Howard, Anson Williams and Marion Ross.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Look, John, we can’t have you running around out there wastin’ friendly civilians.” “There are no friendly civilians!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
A word I know,
six letters it contains
subtract just one,
and twelve is what remains.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
I’m seven times seventy,
Plus a decade more.
This has all happened before.
Red and gold, I am no liar.
My nursery will be made
From my funeral pyre.
Who am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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