WELCOME to THURSDAY FEBRUARY 4, 2021
Here’s the Story……
A guy walks into a New York diner with an ostrich. They both sit down at the counter and after a few moments, the waitress asks them whether they’re ready to order. “Yes,” said the guy, “I’ll have the cheeseburger with fries and a Coke.” He then looks at the ostrich and says, “What are you having?“ “The same,” says the ostrich.
About ten minutes later the waitress returns with their order and then says. “That’ll be $22.00 please.“ The man reaches into his pocket and, without even looking he pulls out the exact amount of money for payment. The next day, the same guy and his ostrich return and once again the guy says, “I’ll have the cheeseburger with fries and a Coke please.“ And once again the ostrich says, “The same.“ Once again when their order arrives, the guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount of money to settle the bill. This goes on for a few days and is becoming a routine, when one night they enter the diner and the waitress asks, “The usual?“ “No,” said the guy “as it’s Friday I’ll have the T-bone steak with a baked potato, a green salad and a glass of Merlot.” “Same for me,” said the ostrich. The waitress brings the order and then says, “That’ll be $53.00.”
Once again the guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount of money to pay the bill.
At this point the waitress is unable to suppress her curiosity any longer and she says to the guy,
“Excuse me sir. How is it you always manage to pull from your pocket the exact amount of money? You do it every time.”
“Well,” said the guy, “several years ago I was cleaning my attic and I found an old oil lamp. When I
rubbed it a genie appeared and granted me two wishes.”
“Really?” said the waitress. “And what did you wish for?”
“Well my first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket
and the exact amount of money would always be there,” said the guy.
“Now that’s brilliant!” the waitress responded. “Most people would wish for like a million dollars or something but you’ll always be as rich as you need to be for as long as you live!“
“That’s right,” said the guy. “Whether I’m buying a pitcher of beer or a Bugatti Chiron,
the exact amount of money will always be there.”
The waitress was clearly impressed but still a little curious.
“So what’s with the ostrich then?” she inquired.
The guy sighs and then says, “Well, my second wish was for a tall
chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.“
The waitress smiled at him and said, “Be careful what you wish for…..
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
The human race is faced with a cruel choice:
work or daytime television. ~Author Unknown
Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money
is handy. ~Groucho Marx
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus
Y plus Z. Where X is work; Y is play, and Z is
keeping your mouth shut. ~Albert Einstein (well, maybe!)
As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that
there are six things that I really loved about my job.
Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays,
and of course retirement. ~Tom Goins
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t
have a job if he was any smarter. ~John Gotti
If you had to identify in one word the reason why
the human race has not achieved and never will
achieve its full potential that word would be ‘meetings.’ ~Dave Barry
G u a r a n t e e d to Make You Laugh!
Rosie Hall buys a self-assembly, flat-pack, cupboard from her local Homebase store.
Reaching home Rosie reads the instructions carefully, counts the pieces then assembles
the cupboard in the bedroom. It looks really great and she is delighted. Now, Rosie lives
near a railway line and as the train passes by the cupboard collapses. Undaunted by this
misfortune she re-reads the instructions and reassembles the cupboard. Once more,
another train passes and the whole cupboard collapses again. Rosie now frustrated and
thinking that she must have done something “wrong” re-re-reads the instructions and
re-re-assembles the cupboard. Shortly, a train passes and the whole cupboard collapses
yet again for the 3rd time. Rosie is now fed up, cross and rather angry so she ‘phones the
customer service department. She is told that this is quite impossible and that they’ll send
along a fitter to take a look. Funny Short Stories The fitter arrives and assembles the cupboard.
Again, a train passes and the cupboard collapses. Completely baffled by this unexpected event,
the fitter decides to reassemble the cupboard and sit inside it to see whether he can find out
what causes the cupboard to collapse. At this point, Rosie’s husband comes home, sees the
cupboard and says, ‘Oh, that’s a splendid looking cupboard,’ and he opens it to look inside.
The fitter, who had been wondering how to explain his position in Rosie’s bedroom cupboard,
blurts out, ‘You probably won’t believe me, but I’m standing here waiting for a train.’😱😳😁😎
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Watch what I can do. Come on. It’s alright. Look. The water’s stiff.”
The animated film “Bambi” was produced in 1942 by Walt Disney. It was directed by David Hand and written by Felix Salten (the novel), Larry Morey (the story adaptation) and Perce Pearce (the story direction). It is a wonderful story of the adventures of a fawn named Bambi, and his friends Thumper, Flower, Friend Owl and Faline. The film shows exquisite animation through the journey of Bambi as he grows up, falls in love and becomes a strong buck. There are heartbreaking events and heartwarming scenes throughout the movie.
Thumper says this wonderful quote to Bambi, as they discover the frozen pond. Thumper pounds his foot on the ice and wiggles his little nose as he coaxes Bambi to step foot on the ice. Bambi slides and wobbles. His unsteady legs go every which way. Eventually, Thumper gets Bambi back on his feet and pushes him along the ice. This is when Bambi see Faline, the immediate love of his life.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Six feet three and a half inches. Now let’s stick to the facts.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.
Example: 1. picture, inner, top, test Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.
- sky, point, hat, knee
- street, fight, pedal, off
- shoe, french, powder, rims
- moulding, roast, triple, jewels
Answer: 1. sky HIGH, HIGH point, HIGH hat, knee HIGH
- BACK street, fight BACK, BACK pedal, BACK off
- shoe HORN, french HORN, powder HORN, HORN rims
- CROWN moulding, CROWN roast, triple CROWN, CROWN jewels
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Complete the word square by inserting the 9 letters into the grid, to create the same words reading down & across.
D E E L L L O O O
E A C H
A _ _ _
C _ _ _
H _ _ _
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.