Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY FEBRUARY 5, 2021

Funny Facts:
China has censored their word for censorship.
Cows moo with regional accents.
The female lion does 90% of the hunting.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
Over 75% of people who read Fact No 4 will then try to lick their elbow.
50% of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
Dolly Parton once lost out to a drag queen in a Dolly Parton look-alike contest.
The blob of toothpaste you put on your toothbrush is called a nurdle.
Putting in a vase will make flowers stand up straight for a week beyond when they would normally wilt.
One-quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
A man once wore 60 shirts and nine pairs of jeans on a flight from China to Africa to avoid paying for excess baggage at check-in.
There’s a village in Norway called Hell and it freezes over every winter.
It would take 76 workdays to read every online privacy policy we agree to in an average year.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
In an average lifetime, while sleeping, people will eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.😳
27% of all food produced in Western nations ends up in garbage cans.
If you went out into space, you’d explode before you’d suffocate because there’s no air pressure.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
You can tell the sex of a horse by its teeth. Most males have 40, whilst females have 36.
Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Fashion is what you adopt when
you don’t know who you are. ~Quentin Crisp

You have to be careful if you don’t
know where you’re going because
you might not get there. ~Yogi Berra

Behind every successful man stands
a surprised mother-in-law. ~Hubert Humphrey

Believe you can and you’re halfway
there. ~Theodore Roosevelt

Gold medals aren’t really made of gold.
They’re made of sweat, determination,
and a hard-to-find alloy called guts. ~Author Unknown

Even the greatest was once a beginner.
Don’t be afraid to take that first step. ~Author Unknown

The greatest advantage of speaking the
truth is that you don’t have to remember
what you said. ~Author Unknown

It is your attitude and not your aptitude
that determines your altitude. ~Zig Ziglar

G u a r a n t e e d to Make You Laugh!
A zoo was experiencing serious cashflow problems due to visitor numbers falling.
The zoo’s management got together to discuss how they could reverse the trend
by introducing a major attraction. Following the meeting the manager persuaded
a visitor, who was a very big, stocky man, to take a job dressing up in a gorilla
costume and masquerading as a great ape. This deception worked well as the man
really threw himself into the role with enthusiasm; devouring buckets of bananas,
swinging from branches, pacing his cage menacingly, beating his chest and roaring loudly.
However one day he went a bit too far and he accidently fell into the lion’s enclosure next door.
Panicking, the bogus gorilla started shouting, “Help! Help!”
The lion let out a tremendous roar, then rushed at him. He put his paw on the bogus
gorilla’s chest and growled, “Shut up buddy, or we’ll both lose our jobs!”😳😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Six feet three and a half inches. Now let’s stick to the facts.”

Answer: Harvey!
This film was based on Mary Chase’s Pulitzer Prize winning play of the same name – about a man whose best friend is a ‘pooka’, who exists as a large invisible rabbit called Harvey. Elwood P. Dowd (James Stewart) is talking to Marvin Wilson (Jesse White), who is a sanitarium orderly, and Miss Kelly (Peggy Dow), who is a nurse, in the sanitarium after Elwood’s sister, Vita Louise Simmons, has a disastrous party as a result of Elwood arriving with Harvey (his invisible rabbit friend). She decides that Elwood should be committed to a mental institution. James Stewart made the comment because Miss Kelly was discussing that Elwood had been brought into the hospital because he went to the garden party with Harvey.
Interestingly, James Stewart was six feet four inches tall and spent the entire movie looking ‘up’ whenever he was speaking to Harvey.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“What’s the most you’ve ever lost in a coin toss?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Complete the word square by inserting the 9 letters into the grid, to create the same words reading down & across.

D E E L L L O O O

E A C H
A _ _ _
C _ _ _
H _ _ _

Answer: E A C H
A L O E
C O O L
H E L D

Each, Aloe, Cool, Held

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
The following lines were written by Arthur Connor, a prominent figure in the Irish Rebellion of 1798. He was arrested and wrote the verses while in prison. He made his escape to France in 1807, where he became a general in the army, and died at age 87.

“The pomps of Courts and pride of kings
I prize above all earthly things;
I love my country, but the king,
Above all men, his praise I sing.
The Royal banners are displayed,
And may success the standard aid.”

“I fain would banish far from hence.
The ‘Rights of Man’ and ‘Common Sense’
Confusion to his odious reign,
That foe to princes, Thomas Paine.
Defeat and ruin seize the cause.
Of France, its liberties and laws.”

These two apparently loyal verses, if properly read, show a very different meaning. Can you discover it?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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