Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Thinking Out Loud……
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then
you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can
train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in
the Boston area drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The
parents claim they give the kids coffee only when they need it,
like when the kid wakes up with a hangover.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Russian billionaire reportedly paid over $4 million to have Mariah
Carey and Sir Elton John perform at his teenage granddaughter’s
wedding. Said his teenage granddaughter, ‘Who are these people?'” -Seth Meyers

“Apple has changed back their design of the peach emoji to look
more like a butt after people were upset the new design no longer
looked like a butt. So you see, people – sometimes democracy DOES work!” -Conan O’Brien

G u a r a n t e e d to Make You Laugh!
As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: “Danger! Beware
of Dog!” Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.
“Is that the dog we’re supposed to beware of?” he asks the owner.
“That’s him,” comes the reply.
“He doesn’t look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?”
“‘Cause before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.” 😳😁😎

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Go ahead, make my day.”

Answer: Sudden Impact!
This phrase is used by Harry Callahan, played by Clint Eastwood, as a gunman is holding a waitress hostage during a hold-up at a diner. Harry points his .44 Magnum in the gunman’s face and dares him to shoot, saying “Go ahead, make my day!” He uses the same phrase at the end of the movie, speaking to a man who is going to rape a woman. Clint Eastwood made many western movies. Following these, he made five “Dirty Harry” movies beginning in 1971 and moving into the early 80s. The movies were about a reckless cop in San Francisco, stopping at nothing to bring down criminals. With his .44 Magnum, he made his own kind of justice.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“He hates these cans, stay away from these cans.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Welcome to the Missing Idioms language game! An idiom is a speech form or an expression of a given language that is peculiar to itself grammatically or, cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on”.

Below you will find 10 sentences, with the missing idiom replaced, in brackets (…). To solve the game, you will need to complete each sentence with an idiom, but there is a twist to it. Each round you will be given a Main Clue and, all missing idioms must relate to it.

The Main Clue for this round is “Animals”, therefore all missing idioms must relate to animals. Good luck and enjoy!

  1. He is the (most important person, main character) in his company.
  2. I hadn’t seen my cousin in a year, so when we finally met we talked (for a very long time).
  3. You should (not worry about those problems from before). It is too late now to do anything about them.
  4. There is no need to be concerned about your new landlady. Her (words are worse than her actions).
  5. My grandfather moved to the country to get away from the (busyness and confusion) in the city.
  6. Be careful of that man. He is a (pretending to be good but, he is really bad).
  7. My aunt decided (to take action and not worry about the results) and begin preparations for the family reunion.
  8. I think that buying a ticket before we make any plans is (doing things in the wrong order).
  9. She is always (behaving with arrogance) and telling people what to do.
  10. I wish that she would (begin to be humble and agreeable) and begin to care about how other people feel about things.

Answer: Here are the missing idioms.

  1. top dog
  2. until the cows came home
  3. let sleeping dogs lie
  4. bark is worse than her bite
  5. rat race
  6. wolf in sheep’s clothing
  7. to take the bull by the horns
  8. putting the cart before the horse
  9. getting on her high horse
  10. get off her high horse

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
As Forrie Agincourt and Jenn Rahlwitz headed back to the rail depot, Sarah caught Forrie’s eye, nodding toward an unsavory 20-something man headed their way. She guided Forrie into a respectable-looking shop. Forrie was determined not to give her the satisfaction, but his aunt outwaited him.
“I give up. What did we avoid there?”
“I could hardly expect you to head home without,” she cleared her throat, “at least some come-punk-shun.”
Forrie made a noise that drew a stern glance from the spinsterish shopkeeper.
“It’s a good thing you and Mom don’t have any brothers,” he riposted, “because he’d probably be like you, and I’d have to partake of …” he waited.
Sarah groaned, “extreme Unc-shun?”
Forrie grinned; deuce.

The shopkeeper realized they were not likely customers, and eased them back to the world. On the way to the depot, they came up with several more shunnings. How many can you get?

How many of Forrie’s avoidances can you puzzle out?

  1. Avoidance of places that used to smell bad
  2. Avoidance of Tom Hank’s “Forrest” movie
  3. Avoidance of males
  4. Avoidance of flower bunches
  5. Avoidance of landing movie roles
  6. Avoidance of German four-ring cars
  7. Avoidance of a website’s information pages

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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