Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story…
Bill was studying for a Master’s Degree in American Studies at the University of London. He loved American culture, so naturally he was a regular traveler to the USA. In particular he liked getting to know the real America beyond the obvious tourist destinations. On one trip he was staying in a hotel in Cheyenne, Wyoming when he saw an old Native American chief in full native dress sitting in the lobby.
“Wow, who’s that?” Bill asked the desk clerk.
“Oh, that’s Chief Elephant’s Memory,” the clerk responded.
“Why’s he called Chief Elephant’s Memory?” asked Bill.
“Because he’s 93 and he still has the most amazing memory. He never forgets anything,” said the clerk.
“You might not believe this but he can actually remember every single detail of his life with immediate recall.”
“Really?” Bill said, intrigued by what he was being told.
So Bill walked up to the Chief and said, “Hi there, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve heard you have the most
amazing memory. They say you can remember every detail of your life. Can you tell me what you had for
breakfast on your eighteenth birthday?” “Eggs”, replied the Chief quietly.
Bill was amazed with this response but as he walked away the desk clerk called him over and said,
“Hey buddy, when you speak to one of our Native Americans you don’t say ‘Hi there’, it’s common
courtesy to address them by saying, ‘How!’.” Bill thanked the clerk for putting him right and promised
he’d remember that next time. One year later Bill’s back in Cheyenne again. He’s in the same hotel when
he spots the same old Native American chief sitting in the lobby.
Remembering the desk clerk’s advice from his previous visit he walks up to the Chief and says, “How!”
“Sunny-side up”, the Chief responded. 😳😁😎
Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Astronomers say they now know the approximate weight
of the Milky Way. They found this out by adding 10 pounds
to the Milky Way’s weight on its Tinder profile.” -Conan O’Brien

“A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme
doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase.
The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people
even give their fish Valentine’s Day gifts. A good way to tell that
you’ve lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine’s Day gift.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Jim’s a police officer in Morristown, New Jersey. One day he’s sitting in his squad car on
Main Street when a car screams past him doing at least 100 miles an hour.
With blue lights flashing and siren wailing, Jim chases after the car and pulls it over.
Jim approaches the car and says to the young driver, “Sir, please step out of the car for me.”
“But officer”, said the young man, “I can explain.”
“Just be quiet!” snapped Jim, “Driving at dangerous speeds on Main Street is a felony.
You’ll be cooling your heels in jail until the police chief gets back and decides what to do with you.”
“But officer”, the young man responded, “if you’d just let me explain.”
Once again Jim snapped at him, “Be quiet! You’re going to jail.”
A few hours later Jim is checking on his prisoner in the holding cell at the station and
the guy is looking is little glum to say the least. At this point Jim’s feeling a bit sorry for him.
“Hey buddy”, says Jim, “don’t worry. Lucky for you the police chief’s at his daughter’s wedding.
He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it”, said the young driver, “I’m the groom.” 😱😳😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!”

Answer: “Bull Durham”
This scene is my personal favorite of the entire film, although it would be difficult for me to explain why. Probably due to Wuhl’s wonderfully deadpan style, but who knows? “Sports Illustrated” listed “Bull Durham” as the ‘Greatest Sports Movie’ in 2003; in 2008 it ranked #5 in AFI’s top ten sports films. The film was directed by Ron Shelton, who played minor-league ball during his early 20s and tapped in on his experiences while writing the script. “Bull Durham” starred Kevin Costner (whose character, Crash Davis, was modeled after William Holden’s Pike Bishop character in “The Wild Bunch”) and real-life couple Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon (who first met during filming).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
My first is the base of a rose prominently displayed on a shelf
My second is a small space from which you cannot exit by yourself
My whole is a biological unit and restorer of health

What am I?

Answer: stem cell
Line 1 refers to the stem of a rose.
Line 2 refers to a prison cell, from which you would be unable to leave without outside assistance.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Many many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife.

To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter’s son.

Who is my grandma?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

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