WELCOME to THURSDAY MARCH 4, 2021
Thinking Out Loud….
- Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side.
- What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.
- What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
- I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
- A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.
- Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
- Geology rocks but Geography is where it’s at!
- What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.
- Can February March? No, but April May.
- Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
- I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the
C+ she got in a class. She said, ‘I’m suing whoever’s responsible
for this!’ And her professor said, ‘Don’t you mean WHOMEVER?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers
than drunk people. Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming
when you’re driving at 11 miles-an-hour.” -Conan O’Brien
“A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so-called
‘New Yorker milkshake’ which comes topped with whipped cream
and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping
you’ll get is a coffin lid.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
When I was around 4 years old, I was biting my nails pretty badly and my mother
showed me a picture of a child with a very swollen belly due to malnutrition.
“That will happen to you if you keep biting your nails,” she told me.
Later that week we were in the supermarket standing in line at the checkout counter
behind a lady who was obviously 9 months pregnant. I pointed to her and, in a
very loud voice, said, “We know what she has been doing don’t we mommy?”
Have you ever seen your mother try to crawl under a cash register and hide? 😱😳😁😎
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“He chose. Poorly.”
Answer: “The Last Crusade”
The third film of the series, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” teams Indy (Harrison Ford) with his father, Dr. Henry Jones (Sean Connery) on a quest to find the Holy Grail. The above line was spoken by the immortal guardian of the Grail (the last remaining Knight of the Crusades, played by Robert Eddison) after ‘Bad Guy’ Walter Donovan (Julian Glover) drinks from the wrong chalice, rapidly ages, then turns to dust. River Phoenix played the young Indiana in the beginning of the film, which finally explained why Indy wears that beat-up fedora. Directed by Steven Spielberg and released in 1989, the film also starred John Rhys-Davies, Denholm Elliott and Alison Doody. Nominated for three Oscars in 1990, “The Last Crusade” won for Best Sound Effects Editing.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
After buying a new oven, Gerald sold his old one to a stranger. Although the stranger offered to pay cash, Gerald, nonetheless, had a very good reason for insisting that the transaction take place at a bank. Rather than be offended, the stranger clearly understood the reason for this unusual request. Why did Gerald make this demand?
Answer: Gerald is blind and fears he would be shortchanged by the purchaser. The bank teller would ensure the proper amount is paid.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
On July 7th, I had a most unusual day. I woke up at exactly 7:07, stumbled to my refrigerator and had a 7up. I got dressed, went downstairs, and caught the number 7 bus to go to my office on 77th street. While sitting in my office on the 7th floor, it dawned on me how my day was going so I called my bookie and placed a $777 bet on the number 7 horse in the seventh race, whose name was Seventh Heaven, to win.
Do you know what happened?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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