Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MARCH 10, 2021

Thinking Out Loud…..
With great reflexes comes great response-ability.

How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

An expensive laxative will give you a run for your money.

I have a broken barometer that I need to sell. No pressure.

Nuns wear the same outfit every day. Must be a habit, I guess.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

I can only remember 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up!

If it’s cold, stay close to others. Otherwise you might feel a bit ice-olated.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have put it on aloha setting.

Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game? All the fans left!

I’m not sure if my ceiling is the best in the world, but it’s definitely up there.

You’ll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians! Everyone.

To whoever stole my broken bathroom scale, you’ll never get a weigh with it.

Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing.

I lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.

Why are fish the easiest animals to weight? Because they come with their own scales.

I started a business selling yachts in my attic. Sails have gone through the roof.

I wouldn’t let my children go to see the orchestra. There’s too much sax and violins.

I told my wife I felt like a deck of cards and she said she’d deal with me later.

I have a weird talent where I can tell what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.

Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail? She got a full sentence.

Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
– Winston Churchill

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human
stupidity, and I’m not sure about the universe.
– Albert Einstein

Mr. Right is coming. But he’s in Africa and he’s walking.
– Oprah Winfrey

There are only three things women need in life:
food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out whether he’ll ever meet his princess.
The fortune-teller looks into her crystal ball for a few moments and then says to the frog,
“Well I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?“
“Let me have the good news first,” said the frog.
“Well, you’re going to meet the most beautiful girl in the world,” said the fortune-teller.
“She will be interested in you and she will want to know all about you. In fact she will want
you to open up for her and you will give her your heart.“
“That sounds fantastic,” said the frog, “but what’s the bad news then?“
“You’re going to meet her in her Biology class,” replied the fortune-teller. 😳

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“The Grey Hair’s children were under Magua’s knife but escaped. They’ll be under it again.” “Why do you hate the Grey Hair, Magua?”

Answer: The Last of the Mohicans
In the events leading up to this scene, Indian scout Magua (Wes Studi) has lead a column of British soldiers, British Colonel Munro’s two daughters, and frontiersman Hawkeye (Daniel Day-Lewis) to Colonel Munro at Fort William Henry (Magua calls him “Grey Hair”). However, Magua is actually allied with the French. In this scene the British situation is being discussed by Magua, French General Montcalm (Patrice Chéreau) and French Captain De Bougainville (Dylan Baker). Magua says the first line and General Montcalm asks him the second line. In the 1993 Academy Awards “The Last of the Mohicans” won the Oscar for Best Sound. The movie soundtrack is one of my favorites.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“He has a knife.” “That’s not a knife. THAT’S a knife.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
In this teaser you have been given two (2) clues in each line. Each answer to the clue comprises six (6) letters. Each 6-letter word differs by only one (1) letter, which I have given you. Your task is to discover the answers to the clues provided. The order of the letters do not change.

Example:

Remove _ _ _ I _ _ / _ _ _ U _ _ Justify

Answer:

E X C (I) S E / E X C (U) S E

  1. Confuse R _ _ _ _ _ / C _ _ _ _ _ Bovines
  2. Invent _ _ _ _ T _ / _ _ _ _ S _ Furrow
  3. Endured _ A _ _ _ _ / _ I _ _ _ _ Tilted
  4. Joking _ _ N _ _ _ / _ _ R _ _ _ Bargain

Answer: 1. Rattle Cattle

  1. Create Crease
  2. Lasted Listed
  3. Banter Barter

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Based on the following clues can you make 2 phrases with the same letters in the same order, but with different spacing? (Example: Abcde Fg + Abc Defg)

  1. Precipitating fish archery + Multi-color sea life
  2. God of love took charge + Small container did nothing
  3. Irrational number of tranquility + Master of tubes
  4. Not heavy & not large + Shopping center of bulbs

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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