Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY MARCH 12, 2021

Funny Misheard Song Lyrics…..

Everybody loves singing along with their favorite songs, but sometimes it’s hard to figure out what those singers are actually saying. The good news is that most of the time, the lyrics we think we hear are way funnier than the actual lyrics. Check out five of the funniest misheard song lyrics ever uttered.

  1. “Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” The iconic rock anthem “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix is well-known
    for its commonly misheard words. Actual lyrics: “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.”
  2. “Every Time You Go Away, You Take a Piece of Meat With You” From Paul Young’s love ballad, “Every
    Time You Go Away.” We’re positive that this is not what Paul had in mind when he wrote this tune. Actual
    lyrics: “Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you.”
  3. “We Built This City on Sausage Rolls” Poor Starship. We’re sure they weren’t thinking about sausages
    when they wrote their 1980s hit, “We Built This City.” Actual lyrics: “We built this city on rock n’ roll.”
  4. “See That Girl, Watch Her Scream, Kicking the Dancing Queen” Why would ABBA be kicking a screaming
    “Dancing Queen?” What did she ever do to them? Actual lyrics: “See that girl, watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen.”
  5. “Sweet Dreams are Made of Cheese” Some of my best dreams are about cheese, but that’s beside
    the point. The Eurythmics definitely weren’t thinking about cheddar when they wrote “Sweet Dreams.”
    Actual lyric: “Sweet dreams are made of these.” 😁 That’s my story and I’m sticking too it!
    Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
    Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man
on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” – Terry Pratchett

“Behind every successful man is a woman,
behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx.😳

“When a man steals your wife there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.” – Sacha Guitry.

“If at first you don’t succeed… So much
for skydiving.” – Henry Youngman.

“What’s another word for thesaurus?” – Steven Wright.

“Love is temporary insanity curable
by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
“I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds
the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s
what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on
the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?”
the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.” 😱😳😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You don’t wanna marry me.” “Why don’t you love me, Jenny? I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”

Answer: Forrest Gump!
In this scene Forrest (Tom Hanks) has asked Jenny (Robin Wright) to marry him and adds “I’d make a good husband, Jenny.” She agrees, but says the first line. Forrest comments with the second. “Forrest Gump” won Best Picture in the 1995 Academy Awards and Tom Hanks won Best Actor in a Leading Role for his portrayal of Forrest Gump. The movie follows the life of low-I.Q. Forrest, including his accidental experiences with some of the most important people and events in America from the late 1950s through the 1970s, and his encounters with the love of his life, Jenny. Chevy Chase turned down the role of Forrest.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.” “What do you mean, you mean the way I talk?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Two professors were sitting in front of an open fire at the local university’s elite Professor’s Club. They were chatting about some of their new classes. During the course of their conversation, one of the professors asked the other if he would like to sample some fine Irish Whiskey while they talked. “Absolutely! That would be splendid!” “Waiter! Bring me a bottle of your finest Irish Whiskey please”, called the Professor. “Certainly sir”, replied the waiter. A few minutes later, the waiter returned and said, “Here you go sir. This bottle of ‘Jameson’ is one of Ireland’s best single malt grain whiskeys. I hope you both enjoy it!” “Thank you, waiter. I’m sure we will. Can you let me look at the bottle please before you go?” The waiter passed the bottle to the Professor. The label read: “Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whisky”. Without opening the lid of the bottle or tasting, smelling or examining its contents, the Professor became very angry with the waiter saying, “This is NOT genuine Irish whiskey. It is a fraud and absolute rubbish! Take it back!” By simply reading the label, and without smelling, examining or tasting the fluid first, how did the Professor know that the contents of the bottle was not Irish whiskey?

Answer: The Professor knew it was not really Irish Whiskey because of the difference in how the Irish spell “whiskey” (with an “e”) and how the Scottish spell it – “whisky”.
The label read: “Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whisky”.
A true bottle of Irish whiskey would have read: “Jameson Genuine Irish Single Malt Grain Whiskey”.
There appears to be no known reason, legal or otherwise why this difference exists.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
What do these three objects have in common?
Corn
Weasel
Balloon

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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