WELCOME to TUESDAY MARCH 16, 2021
The best puns of all time are:
- A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar
and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
- She used to have a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to
solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.
- Did you hear about the guy who emailed ten puns to friends, in the hope
that at least one of the puns would make them laugh? Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Since spaghetti is now ‘pasta’ and a TV set is a ‘home
entertainment system,’ the manager of my grocery
store did his best to jazz up the lowly egg.
He still has some work to do. A sign he put up in the
dairy section advertised “Boneless Chicken.”
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is
the one that says…”If you have a gambling problem,
call 1-800-GAMBLER.” So, I call them and say, “I have
an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?”
Before I could enroll in my company’s medical insurance plan,
I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was
very thorough, leaving nothing to chance. One question asked,
“Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room
within the next three months?”😳
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My children have never been thrilled about taking naps, but one
day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual. In the middle
of the tantrums, a friend called. “What’s all the commotion over there?” she asked.
“Oh, nothing,” I said. “Just the siesta resistance.” 😳😁😎
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You know, I read about you all in the papers, and I just get scared.” “Now Ms. Parker, don’t you believe what you read in all them newspapers.”
Answer: Bonnie and Clyde!
In this scene Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) and Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway) have returned to Bonnie’s hometown so Bonnie can see her mother (Mabel Cavitt). The mother speaks the first line and Clyde tries to reassure her with the second. In the 1968 Academy Awards. “Bonnie and Clyde” was nominated for ten Oscars, including Best Picture (but lost out to “In the Heat of the Night”). Estelle Parsons (who played Blanche, the wife of Clyde’s brother Buck) won for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. Warren Beatty, Michael J. Pollard , Gene Hackman, Faye Dunaway and director Arthur Penn were also nominated for awards but did not win. This was Gene Wilder’s first feature film (although he had some previous TV and Broadway experience).
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you?”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
I am periodically the number 79. Long ago some attempted to make me from 29, but learned it couldn’t be done.
If you add me to 80 I appear to be 47 temporarily. What am I?
Answer: Gold is represented by the number 79 on the Periodic table of elements. Long ago alchemists tried to make gold from copper.(number 29) If you add gold to mercury (number 80) it will appear to be silver for a time.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Joe often travels for his job. Last week he ate at a different restaurant each weekday. He ordered a different entree and a different dessert at each. Determine where Joe ate each day, what entree he ordered and what he had for dessert with each meal.
- Joe ate at the Beach Grill (which is either where he had mixed fruit or the ice cream) on Friday.
- Joe ate at Irene’s (where he had either pecan pie or cheesecake) later in the week than he ate at the Cove.
- Joe ate at the restaurant where he had the chicken exactly one day before he ate at Lou’s Loft (where he had either the pecan pie or the cheesecake).
- Joe had mixed fruit for dessert at either Irene’s or the restaurant where he had the veal.
- Joe ate at the restaurant where he had the steak (and either pecan pie or cheesecake for dessert) before he ate where he had the mixed fruit (which he didn’t have on Thursday or Friday) but after he ate at Anthony’s.
- Joe ate where he had the pecan pie for dessert later in the week than when he had the cheesecake. He did not order pecan pie on the day he had spaghetti.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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