WELCOME to WEDNESDAY MARCH 17, 2021
Thinking Out Loud Again….
I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
I stepped on a Cornflake, and now I am a cereal killer.
Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Velcro – what a rip off!
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Broken pencils are pointless.
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Why do psychics ask your name?
If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do we celebrate Halloween?
You all laugh because I’m different – I laugh because you’re all the same.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting
into situations where you need it. – Doug Larson
It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music
is nothing if the audience is deaf. – Walter Lippmann
He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may
become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty. – Mary Wilson Little
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar
doctrine that age brings wisdom. – H. L. Mencken
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. – Mahfouz Naguib
Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a
raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion? – Friedrich Nietzsche
The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of
our life, the clearer we should see through it. – Jean Paul
Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time. – Theodore Roosevelt
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites.
His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in
the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.” “But I paid a million dinars for it,”
the King protested. “Don’t you know who I am? I am the king!” Croesus replied,
“When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.” 😳😁😎
Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you?”
“Goodfellas” tells the story of mobster-turned-FBI-informant Henry Hill, and his 25 year association with the New York City Mafia. Ray Liotta, who plays Hill in the film, is part of a stellar cast which also includes, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Paul Sorvino. The quote appears in a scene where mob henchman and resident psychopath Tommy DeVito, played brilliantly by Pesci, is having dinner and drinks with some associates, including Henry. After Tommy tells the group an amusing story, Henry comments on what a funny guy he is, after which DeVito, who pretends to be insulted by the comment, goes on a very intense rant. It’s a great performance and one of the reasons why Joe Pesci took home the Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role at 1991 Academy Awards.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Joe often travels for his job. Last week he ate at a different restaurant each weekday. He ordered a different entree and a different dessert at each. Determine where Joe ate each day, what entree he ordered and what he had for dessert with each meal.
- Joe ate at the Beach Grill (which is either where he had mixed fruit or the ice cream) on Friday.
- Joe ate at Irene’s (where he had either pecan pie or cheesecake) later in the week than he ate at the Cove.
- Joe ate at the restaurant where he had the chicken exactly one day before he ate at Lou’s Loft (where he had either the pecan pie or the cheesecake).
- Joe had mixed fruit for dessert at either Irene’s or the restaurant where he had the veal.
- Joe ate at the restaurant where he had the steak (and either pecan pie or cheesecake for dessert) before he ate where he had the mixed fruit (which he didn’t have on Thursday or Friday) but after he ate at Anthony’s.
- Joe ate where he had the pecan pie for dessert later in the week than when he had the cheesecake. He did not order pecan pie on the day he had spaghetti.
Answer: Monday, Anthony’s, chicken, brownie
Tuesday, Lou’s Loft, steak, cheesecake
Wednesday, the Cove, veal, mixed fruit
Thursday, Irene’s, barbeque, pecan pie
Friday, Beach Grill, spaghetti, ice cream
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you decipher this:
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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