Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY MARCH 22, 2021

Here’s the Story….
Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms–both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize
that they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin–but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, “You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream
too late, and we’re all gonna die. . .” 😱😳😁😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Alan Bennett/ “Life is rather like a tin of sardines—
we’re all of us looking for the key.”

Carl Sandburg/ “Life is like an onion: You peel it off
one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.”

Charles Schulz/ “My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim,
no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”

Charlotte Bronte/ “Life is so constructed that an event
does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.”

Elbert Hubbard/ “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

Douglas Adams/ “Life…is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy
and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”

Friedrich Nietzsche/”He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Alice Roosevelt Longworth/”I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s
empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
An atheist was walking through the woods. “What majestic trees”! “What powerful rivers”!
“What beautiful animals”! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast
as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled
over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right On top of him, reaching for him with his left paw
& raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”
Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was still. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out
of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation
to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer”?
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as
a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian”? “Very Well,” said the Voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both
paws together, bowed his head & spoke: “Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from
thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”😳😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’m walking here! I’m walking here!”

Answer: Midnight Cowboy
“Midnight Cowboy” stars Jon Voight as Joe Buck, a young man from Texas who moves to New York City in hopes of earning a living as a gigolo. After having very little success, he meets and forms a partnership with a street con named Ratso Rizzo (Dustin Hoffman), who is not only crippled, but is also in extremely bad health. Business doesn’t get much better for Joe, but the two do become good friends. Ratso’s dream has always been to one day move to Florida, so when his health begins to deteriorate further, Joe steals some money and purchases two tickets to Miami, but Ratso dies before they reach their destination. The line is delivered by Ratso after he and Joe are nearly run over by a New York City cab while crossing the street.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What is the meaning of this rebus?

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQUSTRVWXYZ

Answer: You are out of order (the letters “U” and “R” have traded places; U R out of order).

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Joe, Bill, Bob, Jack, and Tom, whose last names are Carter, Dawson, Mingus, Wood, and Cole, all live in the same building. Each man owns a cat and a dog. The names of the dogs are Dusty, Midnight, Ginger, Smokey, and Daisy. By chance, cats also have the same 5 names as the dogs. From the clues given, determine each man’s first and last name and the names of his pets. (Hint: no man gave the same name to both his cat and his dog.)

  1. Joe and Jack each have a pet named Ginger.
  2. Jack, Joe, and Mr. Carter do not have pets named Midnight.
  3. Bob’s dog and Jack’s cat have the same name, as do Bill’s cat and Tom’s dog.
  4. The cat Daisy is not owned by Jack Cole, Mr. Mingus, Mr. Carter, or Bill.
  5. Smokey the cat does not live with Ginger the dog, and neither of them live with Tom or Mr. Dawson.
  6. Joe’s dog is named Daisy.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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