Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story…..
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police,
who asked, “Is someone in your house?” and George said, “No,” and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have
to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up. Within five minutes three
squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!” 😁😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use
a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
—Will Ferrell

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
—Rita Rudner

“Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.”
—Phil Connors (Bill Murray), Groundhog Day

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is
a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no.
You’re going to get it anyway.”
—Erma Bombeck

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t
afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
—Phyllis Diller

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in
the mouth. The other man asked, “Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?”
The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars.”
“I’m sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?”
“Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked
the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear.”
“Well, you can’t be disappointed with that!”
“Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost
one hundred thousand dollars.” “Incredible… so how come you look so glum?”
“Well, this week… nothing!” 😳

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“People all say that I’ve had a bad break. But today…today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.”

Answer: The Pride of the Yankees!
“The Pride of the Yankees” stars Gary Cooper as legendary Yankee first baseman Lou Gehrig, a gifted baseball player whose life was cut short by Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also known as Lou Gherig’s disease. The film follows Gehrig from his days as a star player for the Columbia University baseball team, his eventual signing by the Yankees, and finally his losing battle against the deadly disease. The film, which was released in July of 1942, also featured a few of Gherig’s former teammates including, Babe Ruth, Bill Dickey and Bob Meusel portraying themselves. The quote comes from a farewell speech delivered by Gehrig to an adoring Yankee Stadium crowd.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“I don’t think having dinner with someone is a crime.””Not yet.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
There are over fifty members in my family;
Yet none quarrel. We all live merrily.

Four leaders have we, all with a bride;
Each has a son who has great pride.

We also have servants who make funny gestures;
But they are hardly used, as they often pester.

The peasants are at the bottom of the line;
Although they outnumber us, they haven’t a right mind.

What are we?

Answer: A Deck of Standard Playing Cards

Fifty-four cards in a standard deck.

Four Kings, four Queens, and four Jacks.

The servants are the Jesters.

The peasants are the number cards.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
A two hundred dollar purchase
With a twenty-five dollar rent,
Until you have all four of us,
Then an even return you’ll get.

One is next to Illinois,
And one borders Virginia.
One has no state name next to it,
The fourth’s near Pennsylvania

What are we?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.



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