WELCOME to THURSDAY APRIL 1, 2021
Here’s the Story…
A man in his mid-forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down. The breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 MPH, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. There’s no way they can catch a BMW, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, then 100 and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t have run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over. The cop came up to him. Took his license without a word and examined it and the car. It’s been a long day, this Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go”. The guy thinks for a second and says,” Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were
trying to give her back”. “Have a nice weekend,” said the officer and he walked away….. 😁
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Amazon Prime has made it possible to have beer and wine delivered
to your home by Alexa. All you have to do is say the phrase,
‘Alexa, Daddy’s sad.'” -Conan O’Brien😳😁😎
“In international news, police in Italy have arrested 10 people for stealing
more than $250,000 in fine wine and gourmet cheese. Yes, their motive is
they were hosting a book club. When the police caught them, they said
the thieves were armed and extremely constipated.” -James Corden
“A new study suggests that not all psychopaths are bad. ‘Thank you,’ said
people who pour the milk in before the cereal.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What
are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”
“Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Lets see you do it.” The juggler gets out
and starts juggling the blazing torches. A couple driving by slows down to watch.
“Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the
sobriety test they’re giving now! 😱
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“That’s a smart mouse, Del. He’s like a circus mouse. “Correct. That’s just what he is, too.
He’s a circus mouse. When I get outta here, he’s gonna make me rich.”
Answer: The Green Mile!
In this scene, death row prisoner John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) watches a jailhouse mouse go to and roll back a spool to fellow death row prisoner Eduard “Del” Delacroix (Michael Jeter) in his jail cell and says line one. Delacroix replies with line two. In a later scene, mean-spirited guard Percy Wetmore (Doug Hutchison) deliberately stomps on and kills this mouse, but Coffey’s magical powers bring the mouse back to life. “The Green Mile” tells the story of Depression-era death row prison guard Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks) and huge prisoner Coffey, who is accused of murdering two little girls (he is later seen by the guards to be innocent).
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?” “All right, let’s get back to the pier.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Fred and his wife, Nikita, were having a conversation about words while on a road trip.
Fred said, “I am thinking of a devilishly tricky word that has five consonants in a row.”
Nikita countered with, “That’s a good one, but people are lining up to find a word with five vowels in a row.”
What words were Fred and Nikita thinking of?
Answer: Fred was thinking of witchcraft and Nikita was thinking of queueing.
While having a good chuckle over their cleverness, Nikita missed the turn off for Wheeling and they wasted an hour getting back on the right road.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Emperor Akbar once ruled over India. He was a wise and intelligent ruler, and he had in his court the Nine Gems, his nine advisors, who were each known for a particular skill. One of these Gems was Birbal, known for his wit and wisdom. The story below is one of the examples of his wit. Do you have it in you to find out the answer?
Once, Emperor Akbar wanted to find out which of his courtiers was the most intelligent. He put forth to them a test, announcing that whoever won the test would be awarded the title of “The Most Intelligent Courtier”.
He brought a piece of white cloth, laid himself down on the floor, and said whoever could cover him with the cloth from head to toe would get the award.
Several courtiers tried, but to no avail. If they covered the Emperor’s head, the toes remained uncovered.
Finally, Birbal came in and achieved what none of the courtiers could achieve! What did he do?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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