WELCOME to MONDAY APRIL 5, 2021
The Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Giraffiti: Vandalisim spray-painted very, very high….
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in.
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A new report claims that William Shakespeare was a marijuana user
and may have been high when he wrote some of his plays. Which explains
that one line: ‘To be, or not to be… Wait, what was the question?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The Dallas Public Library displays one of the original copies of the
Declaration of Independence – also the only copy stained with
barbecue sauce.” -Conan O’Brien
“A man in India has set a new world record for fastest nose-typing. I think the
most surprising part of it is that there was an OLD world record for nose-typing.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. “I feel really good today. I started
out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave twenty dollars to someone
who was needy and down on his luck.” “Twenty whole dollars? That’s a lot of money to
just give away. What did your husband say about it?”
“He said, ‘Thanks.'” 😳😁😎
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I put a curse on that plane.” “I don’t believe in curses.”
In this scene, widowed Italian-American bookkeeper Loretta Castorini (Cher) is at the airport to say goodbye to her fiancé Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello), who is going to Palermo, Sicily to see his dying mother. While watching his plane taxi to takeoff, she starts talking to an old woman who is also watching the plane. The old woman is bitter at her sister, who is on the plane, for stealing a boyfriend from her fifty years earlier (“Today she told me that she didn’t even love him. She took him to be strong on me.”) She has cursed the plane so “that the green Atlantic water should swallow her up!” The old woman says line one and Loretta replies with line two. This movie tells the wonderfully human story of Loretta, who is torn between her fiancé and his brother.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Laura! … Laura! … Laura!” “That was the night that I died, and someone else was saved. Someone who was afraid of water, but learned to swim. Someone who knew there would be one moment when he wouldn’t be watching. Someone who knew that the darkness from the broken lights would show the way.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
There is a reason why men’s clothes have buttons on the right
while women have buttons on the left. What is it?
Answer: Most people are right-handed and find it easier to fasten a button which is on the right through a hole which is on the left. This is why men’s buttons are on the right. When buttons were first used it was rich people who could afford clothes with buttons. Among this class the ladies were often dressed by maid servants. The servant would face the lady and so it was easier for right-handed servants to fasten buttons which were on the lady’s left.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Which noun, from group B, belongs in group A?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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