Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY APRIL 7, 2021

SOME GOOD ONES…..

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should
be changed regularly and for the same reason.
It’s easier to fight for ones’ principles than to live up to them.
I don’t mind going anywhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
I don’t get even, I get older.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
I am a nutritional overachiever.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to
give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which
was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would
rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world
every day just exactly fits in the newspaper.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence
we have that people are still thinking.

Introducing ‘Lite’ – The new way to spell ‘Light’, but with
twenty per cent fewer letters.

I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad.
“We don’t sell it by the quart,” the clerk snapped. “Okay, then give me two pints, please,”
I replied. I’m proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, “Do you want it in one container?” 😱😳😁

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You alright there, Margie?” “No, I just think I’m gonna barf.” [stands up] “Well, that passed. Now I’m hungry again.”

Answer: Fargo
In this scene, Police Chief Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) and her fellow officer Lou (Bruce Bohne) are investigating a triple homicide outside Fargo, North Dakota. Marge, who is pregnant, bends over near a wrecked car as if examining something on the ground and a concerned Lou says line one. Marge says the first part of line two, then stands back up and says the second part of line two. In the events leading up to this scene, car salesman Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy) engineers a kidnapping of his own wife, with the intent of solving his financial problems with the ransom money he expects will be paid by her wealthy father. However, persistent investigation by Marge starts to unravel his scheme.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“He’s a southpaw. I don’t want you messing with southpaws. They do everything backwards.” “Southpaw nothing! I’ll drop him in three.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
A man escapes from jail with help from his girlfriend. Four girls are accused of being the man’s girlfriend. His girlfriend is lying. Two girls are innocent and telling the truth. The other girl is the man’s sister who is helping the girlfriend lie. Who is the man’s sister?

Amanda: “Melinda is his girlfriend.”
Vanessa: “Eva is lying.”
Eva: “Amanda is lying.”
Melinda: “Vanessa is not his sister.”

Answer: If Amanda is telling the truth, then Melinda is lying. If Melinda is lying, then Vanessa is his sister. If Vanessa is his sister, then she’s lying about Eva lying. If Eva isn’t lying, then Amanda is lying, which would contradict the fact that Amanda’s telling the truth. That means Amanda is lying and could be his girlfriend or sister.
Eva must be telling the truth since Amanda has to be lying. So Vanessa must also be lying, and Melinda is telling the truth. Since Melinda’s telling the truth, Vanessa isn’t his sister and must be his girlfriend. Amanda is the other liar, so she must be his sister.
Answer: Amanda

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) no-cost fish lures & honey shipment
2) leaping legumes & colliding dungarees
3) crustacean movement & criminal sunscreen
4) baseball term & seasonal pig

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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