Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Things I never learned in high school:
1. What taxes are.
2. How to do taxes.
3. How to vote.
4. Anything to do with banking.
5. How to buy a car or a house.
But I’m so glad I know the Pythagorean Theorem! 😳 
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
“A controversial 1,200-year-old document has been found that shows evidence that Jesus was married. I don’t believe it. What married guy gets to spend all his free time with his 12 buddies?” -Conan O’Brien

“The Cleveland Zoo announced today that its rare black rhinoceros is pregnant. They made the announcement right after she confirmed it with her rhino-cologist.” -Seth Meyers

“Chipotle is considering opening a new restaurant that specializes in hamburgers.After what their burritos did, Chipotle now wants to ruin a new set of buns.” -Jimmy Fallon  

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes A little boy was waiting for his mother. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”  The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right.” The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town. I’d like you to come to church on Sunday. I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”
The little boy replied with a laugh; “You’re kidding me, right? You don’t even know the way to the Post Office.”  😳😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “      “Have you ever been liberated before?” “I got divorced twice. Does that count?”

Answer:   A Bridge Too Far! This movie uses a star-studded cast and many cameo appearances to tell the story of Operation Market Garden, an ambitious (but failed) attempt by the Allies to end World War II in Europe quickly. The plan was to use airborne paratroopers to secure three bridges behind the German lines and then link up with a ground thrust by the British 30 Corp, allowing easy access over the Rhine River into Germany. In this scene 30 Corp has just reached Eindhoven, The Netherlands, and the local citizens have lined the road cheering the soldiers. American Colonel Robert Stout (Elliott Gould) introduces himself to British tank commander Lt. Colonel John Ormsby Evelyn “JOE” Vandeleur (Michael Caine), who asks line one. Stout replies with line two. This movie won several awards, but no Oscars. There were 13 Oscar-winners associated with the movie, but none earned their Academy Awards for this one (although it was very entertaining if you like war movies).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “You killed an elected official?”  “Who elected him?”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​ According to U.S. law, there are officially designated days that all U.S. flags are to be flown at half-mast (for example: Memorial Day). The President and state governors also have the right to declare certain days that flags are to be flown at half-mast.
There is a particular group of U.S. flags that are never lowered to half-mast and appear to “violate” this U.S. Law. These flags were erected by U.S. Military personnel, but those troops will never be accused of doing anything wrong for those violations.
These flags are currently displayed today, and they have been for numerous years. Where is this particular group of flags displayed?
Answer:  These flags are on the moon.The first of these U.S. flags were deployed to the moon on July 20, 1969 by NASA astronauts. There are a total of 6 US flags deployed to the moon surface, one for each visit to the moon (Apollo 11, 12, 14, 15, 16 & 17). We can only assume they are still standing and were not knocked down when the lunar modules’ engines fired. 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……. Below are incomplete words. Replace the letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.
Ri ( _ _ _ ) satileAl ( _ _ _ ) ouryMo ( _ _ _ ) ergoUnaw ( _ _ _ ) naA ( _ _ _ _ ) ounceFel ( _ _ _ ) ly

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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