WELCOME to FRIDAY APRIL 23, 2021
What Today’s Job-Lingo Really Means…..
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY – We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE – We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED – You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED – Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY – Anyone in the office can boss you around, if there is anyone in the office.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL – We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED – Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE – We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE – You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST – You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS – You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”
“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
SIGNS YOU’RE GETTING OLDER –*
- You got cable for the Weather Channel.
- If a young girl looks at you, you check to make sure you remembered to put on your pants.
- When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out…and you can’t get it back around.
- Most women you know under 40 put you in the “Friend of my Father” class.
- Restaurants stop asking to see your senior discount card.
- You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’m talking about millions in Kuwaiti bullion.” “You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?”
Answer: Three Kings!
In the events leading up to this scene the Persian Gulf War has just ended and Allied troops are disarming captured Iraqi troops. A map is retrieved from one Iraqi soldier and is thought to possibly show where goods looted from Kuwait are hidden. In this scene a group of American soldiers are discussing what to do with the map and Major Archie Gates (George Clooney) says line one. Not-too-bright Pfc. Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze) contributes line two. The soldiers hope to find Kuwaiti gold bullion and keep it for themselves, but they find themselves being more concerned about protecting oppressed civilians. This movie won five awards but no Oscars. In the scene where Sergeant First Class Troy Barlow (Mark Wahlberg) is tortured with electric shocks, he is shocked for real. He said he wanted to get into his role.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Why do you think he removes their skins, Agent Starling? Thrill me with your acumen.” “It excites him.
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
A cork, say from a wine bottle, is held by a robotic clamp at the bottom of a bucket of water and released the moment the bucket is dropped off the side of a tall building. What will happen to the cork during the fall? Will it float to the top of the bucket normally, slower than normal, faster than normal, or not at all?
Assume that there is no air resistance to slow the bucket down.
Answer: The cork will stay at the bottom of the bucket and not float up at all during the fall, since the cork, the bucket and the water all fall at the same acceleration g (neglecting air resistance as all good physics questions do). The buoyant force of the water does not push the cork upward in this case since in free fall the buoyant force is zero. In other words, a cork only floats up when the water around it is heavier and pushes it up. In free fall the water is weightless, as is the cork and bucket, so there is no force to push the cork to the top of the bucket.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
If I were to bleed from a wound or two,
You’d note in amazement, my blood is blue.
I’m found as a fossil in ancient stone,
Yet living today, I’m almost a clone.
My eyes will adjust a great many fold,
To see by the moonlight, who I can hold.
If I could tell my mate, I would say it is true,
These wonderful eyes are only for you.
I’m one of the last to die from pollution,
A living exception to evolution.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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