WELCOME to THURSDAY APRIL 29, 2021
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s novocaine during root canal work?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
Q: Did you hear about the guy who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What kind of coffee and what kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka and iceberg.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A couple from Florida just set a record by taking their 200th Carnival
Cruise. The couple said, ‘What can we say, we love diarrhea.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study finds that if you’re drunk around sober people, you’ll think
you’re less drunk than if you’re around other drunk people. And if you’re
drunk around sober people, chances are you’ve got a problem.” -Jimmy Fallon
“On a bittersweet note, the world’s oldest person has died in Italy at the age
of 117. It’s tragic; she died in a knife fight with the world’s second-oldest person.
I’m kidding! Do you know how she died? Bungee-jumping.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came
in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about
the matter. So he walked into the back and said, “There’s some jerk out there who wants to
buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find
the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half…”
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier,
but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet
and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”
The boy replied, “Canada, Sir.”
“Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?” asked the manager.
The boy replied, “They’re all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there.”
“Really,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Canada!”
The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?” 😁😎
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I told you not to pick up the phone.” “Then stop calling me.”
Answer: Pretty Woman!
In the events leading up to this scene, rich businessman Edward Lewis (Richard Gere) needs an escort in Hollywood, California for some social functions and he hires prostitute Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts). He takes a liking to her and negotiates for her full time day and night. The interaction of Vivian’s street-savy mannerisms with Edward’s rarified level of society leads to some pretty funny situations. In one scene, Edward takes her to an opera and an old woman asks her how she liked it. She says, “It was so good, I almost peed my pants!” The old woman is surprised at this response and Edward quickly adds, “She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.” In this scene, Edward lets her stay in their suite at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel during the day while he’s gone but instructs her not to answer the phone. To test her he calls their room and she answers. He repeats the instruction and calls again as a test. She answers again and he says line one. She replies with line two. In the 1991 Academy Awards, Julia Roberts was nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role but lost the Oscar to Kathy Bates in “Misery.” In the scene where Edward is shown playing the piano in the empty hotel lounge, Richard Gere is playing the piano himself.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Muriel said the have landed, whatever that means, Chief. And she said they were attacking her personally.” “Remember last time, when she called about that peeping Tom — you know who that was, don’t you? It was that Luther Grilk’s horse.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Every clue below can be answered with a two word phrase in which each word contains OR.
Your job is to figure out what they are. Good luck.
- Person on an assembly line
- Whiskey made from ears of a certain vegetable
- Vet with an equine practice
- 1970s-’80s tennis champ from Sweden
- Listing in the Guinness Book
- Home of Texas Christian University
- Person who gives a kidney or liver
- Piece of fiction not as long as a novel
Answer: 1. Seek -> See
- Think -> Thin
- Tank -> Tan
- Pink -> Pin
- Bark -> Bar
- Plank -> Plan
- Stark -> Star
- Sunk -> Sun
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are words or phrases grouped in pairs. There is a different word that fits in the
middle of each set that can be defined by both sides. Your task is to find those words.
Flower __ Stood
- Enclosure for animals – __ – Writing instrument
- Male sheep – __ – Collide into something
- To shove one thing inside another – __ – A collection of miscellaneous items
- Not specific or definite – __ – Military officer of very high rank
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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