WELCOME to FRIDAY May 7, 2021
More Weekend Punography…..
How can you spot a nosy pepper? It gets Jalapeño business!
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.
What did the perscriptivist owl say? Whom whom.
What did one eye say to the other? Just between you and me, something smells.
What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking? Alpaca lunch.
A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk asks if it has any luggage. It replies “no, I’m traveling light”
I can’t stand Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
Did you hear about the glass blower who accidentally inhaled? He got stomach pane.
What do you call a snail that isn’t moving? An escar-stay.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? They’re really making headlines.
If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?
Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? He was a little horse.
Did you hear about the woman who loved making archery supplies? Every day she went to work, she quivered with joy!
The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar. It was tense.
What’s the body temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke Warm.
Be kind to dentists. They have fillings too, you know.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT MOTHERS DAY WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
In German Prisoner-of-War camps, escapes were a a major problem, so they would try to break the
prisoners’ spirits by making them do mindless things. In particular, they would make the prisoners
stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, ‘tick tock tick tock.’
Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change their situation, chose a very subtle rebellion.
They would do the head motions, but instead of ‘tick tock tick tock’, they would wait until the guards
were further down the line and switch to ‘tick tick tick.’
None of the guards noticed this was going on for many months, until finally, a young lieutenant was
caught ticking by a senior SS Captain walking behind the line.
The captain stopped the exercise, walked over, face-to-face with the young man, and “A rebel.
Vell, don’t vorry, ve have vays of making you tock.’ 😳😁😎
Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re going into the men’s room.”
“Huh? Oh, so I am. I do need new glasses.”
Answer: Mrs. Doubtfire!
When Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) loses his job, his irresponsibility makes life impossible for his wife Miranda (Sally Field) and she reluctantly decides to divorce him. A judge decrees that in order to help Daniel to get his life in order, he can see his children just one day a week. He can’t bear this, and when Miranda advertises for a housekeeper to help her, Daniel decides to don a disguise and apply for the job as a British nanny named Mrs. Doubtfire. In this scene, Mrs. Doubtfire joins the family at a restaurant and has to use the restroom. Miranda observes Mrs. Doubtfire going into the men’s room and says line one. Daniel as Mrs. Doubtfire laughs it off with line two. In the 1994 Academy Awards “Mrs. Doubtfire” won the Oscar for Best Makeup. It took Robin Williams about 4 1/2 hours each day to be made up as Mrs. Doubtfire.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Your name is John Coffey?”
“Yes sir, boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
I’m called by three letters
Though I have a long name.
I’m in all of you,
But I’m never the same.
I’m all coiled up
So that I am quite small,
But if you stretch me out
I’ll be really tall.
I could be the root
Of certain disease;
If man can unlock me
He’ll solve many mysteries.
What Am I?
Answer: DNA
DNA is short for deoxyribonucleic acid. DNA is in every living thing, but its pattern is never exactly identical in anyone, even twins. Normally, DNA is coiled up inside chromosomes; however, if you were to stretch out a single strand, it would be between 2-3 meters (6-9 feet) long! Scientists believe that many diseases occur because of imperfections in DNA. If DNA were to be completely understood, we might be able to cure lots of diseases, and we would understand our bodies far better.
DNA is the blueprint to all life. It controls our hair and eye color and literally every feature of our bodies, both physical and genetic.
The title may have been the biggest clue; DNA is double-stranded and resembles a twisted ladder.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Diagramless is a special form of crossword puzzle. It is the same, just you have no idea where the
black squares are, you have to use the answers to the clues and the numbers of them to figure that out.
Can you figure this diagramless out?
It is just a small, 4×4 grid, and there are two black squares.
Across Clues:
- Water Sport
- Best Grade
- __ top of; above
- Place of relaxation
- Water Level
Down Clues:
- Opposite of future
- Oxygen
- Fill by putting on
- Opposite of off
- 3.14
- Vowel between C and H
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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