Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY May 11, 2021

The Down Side of Cubicles:

  • Being told to “Think outside the box” when I’m in the box all day.
  • Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
  • Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.
  • That nagging feeling that if I press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
  • Lack of rafters for the noose.
  • My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
  • Women: Darn near impossible to adjust your bra without comment.
  • Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.
  • 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
  • Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
  • When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
  • Can’t slam the door when you quit and walk out.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A third-grade class in New Jersey recently found a boa constrictor
in the back of their classroom. Even scarier, they DIND’T find Billy.” -Seth Meyers

“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or
Yahoo to diagnose their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick,
my doctor was like, ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“I’ve been trying to say ‘I love you’ more often, starting this morning. I
said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And
then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the
customers was making her uncomfortable.” -Stephen Colbert

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
After their expulsion from paradise, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.
As they passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden, one of the boys asked, “Father, what’s that?”
Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.” 😳

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I think I know what “If you build it, he will come” means.”
“Ooh… why do I not think this is such a good thing?”

Answer: Field of Dreams!
In the events leading up to this scene, Iowa farmer Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) hears a voice in his cornfield telling him, “If you build it, he will come.” At first he is puzzled by what this means, but in this scene he thinks he realizes the answer and says the first line to his wife Annie (Amy Madigan). She replies with line two. SPOILER ALERT Ray at first interprets this message as an instruction to build a baseball field on his farm so the ghosts of “Shoeless” Joe Jackson and the seven other Chicago White Sox players banned from the game for throwing the 1919 World Series (known as the Chicago Black Sox) will appear. He later realizes the “he” in the message refers to his dead father who he never knew very well. In the 1990 Academy Awards, “Field of Dreams” was nominated in three categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “Driving Miss Daisy”). In the scene shot in Boston’s Fenway Park, the thousands of extras in the stands include then unknowns Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They are unaccredited in the cast listing.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“That’s a lie! Harry Bailey went to war. He got the Congressional Medal of Honor. He saved the lives of every man on that transport.”
“Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn’t there to save them, because you weren’t there to save Harry.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Jake and his friend Paco had very famous challenge sessions at their school. One would suggest something they could do, and the other would prove it wrong somehow.

One day, Jake surprised Paco by stating: “I can answer any question in the world.”

Sure that he would win the challenge, Paco accepted the task of proving it wrong. He wrote up a test full of impossible questions. After a while, Jake returned the test. Paco unbelievably lost the challenge and told Jake he could indeed answer any question. How did Jake win?

Answer: For all the impossible questions, Jake simply wrote “I don’t know”, or gave an incorrect answer. Jake never said the answer had to be correct!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Golden treasures I contain,
Guarded by hundreds and thousands.
Stored in a labyrinth where no man walks,
Yet men come often to seize my gold.
By smoke I am overcome and robbed,
Then left to build my treasure anew.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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