Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY May 21, 2021

Here’s the story….
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp, cold body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.” The man
is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead, so the vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body,
walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.” The man, finally
resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, “$650.”

“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.

“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600
was for the cat scan and lab tests.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”
– Virginia Satir

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde

“This above all: to thine own self be true.”
– William Shakespeare

“If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.”
– Napoleon Hill

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came
to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to
ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked, “What is three plus four?”

The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, “Seven.”

The uncle said, “Listen kid, you can’t count it out on your hands because someday when you
are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets.”

So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked, “What is five plus five?”

After a few moments of intense concentration, the boy said, “Eleven.” 😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Pardon me, sir, but I lost my ID in… in a flood and I’d like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me?”
“Why certainly. I lost my wife, too – her name wasn’t Idy, though, and it wasn’t in a flood – but I know what ya… “

Answer: American Graffiti!
In the events leading up to this scene, Curt Henderson (Richard Dreyfuss) and Steve Bolander (Ron Howard) are spending one last night with some of their friends in their hometown before heading off to college in the morning. In this scene Terry “Toad” Fields (Charles Martin Smith) has been goaded into buying some liquor by his new girlfriend Debbie Dunham (Candy Clark) with the line, “I bet you’re smart enough to get us some brew,” and he parks himself outside a liquor store. As a bum enters the store Terry speaks the first line to him and he replies with the second. A few minutes later the bum runs out of the store after an apparent robbery and pitches the bottle to Terry as the storeowner runs to the doorway and starts yelling. In the 1974 Academy Awards, “American Graffiti” was nominated in five categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “The Sting”). It is commonly misbelieved that the American TV series “Happy Days” was a spin off from this movie. In actuality, the pilot for the series was seen on the TV show “Love, American Style” and it aired before “American Graffiti” began production. The episode was titled “Love and Happy Days” and it aired on February 25, 1972. That episode featured eventual “Happy Days” cast members Ron Howard, Anson Williams and Marion Ross.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“What’s the most you’ve ever lost in a coin toss?”

Thurday’s Quizzler is….​
Four Tae Kwon Do students, each with a different belt rank and a different instructor, won medals in four different events at a recent tournament. Using the clues below, can you figure out the correct instructor, belt rank and event for each student?

Students: John, David, Janet, Katie
Instructors: Master Smith, Mr. Brown, Ms. Campbell, Mr. Long
Student ranks: Black belt, blue belt, yellow belt, white belt
Events: Patterns, Sparring, Breaking, Hosin-Sul

Clues:

  1. David’s instructor is not female.
  2. Neither John nor Katie is a black belt.
  3. The white belt won her Breaking division.
  4. Mr. Brown’s student is a black belt.
  5. The Master instructor teaches the blue belt.
  6. Ms. Campbell’s student won Sparring.
  7. Janet has never competed in Hosin-Sul.
  8. Either David or John won the Sparring division.
  9. The yellow belt’s name begins with J.
  10. Janet is a student of Mr. Brown.

Answer: John – Ms. Campbell – Yellow belt – Sparring
David – Master Smith – Blue belt – Hosin-Sul
Janet – Mr. Brown – Black belt – Patterns
Katie – Mr. Long – White belt – Breaking

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Which letter comes next in the following sequence?

S, N, E, P, O, H, C, _

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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