Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY May 26, 2021

Lexiphiles…….
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“You never find yourself until you face the truth.”
–Pearl Bailey

“Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.”
–Oscar Wilde

“You always pass failure on the way to success.”
–Mickey Rooney

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His
last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient
world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnpoker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.”
“But I paid a million dinars for it,” the King protested. “Don’t you know who I am? I am the king!”
Croesus replied, “When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.” 😱😳😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”

Answer: “Steel Magnolias”
The quote is said by Clairee Belcher played by the talented actress, Olympia Dukakis. The scene takes place at Drum and M’Lynn’s Christmas party. Truvy Jones and Clairee are discussing Clairee’s nephew Marshall. After Truvy comments on how she is surprised how Clairee speaks about her own kin, Clairee said the line as her response, because she was a straight-forward character and enjoyed gossip. She has a heart of gold, but holds no comment back.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Go ahead, make my day.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
The police were checking the place. Outside, Mary, Mr. Olson’s faithful secretary, was a mass of nerves. Inspector Will was reviewing the facts:

  1. Mr. Olson has been murdered. The murderer buried a stiletto through the back of the chair and right through his heart.
  2. All the place was a mess, but nothing seems to be lost. Some sheets on his desk had coffee stains, but Mr. Olson was not a coffee drinker. There was no coffee container of any kind in the office. There were a couple of gloves in the floor.
  3. Mary had in her visit book just three announcements: Hari Colton (2:35), Louis Williams (3:10) and Joseph Markis (3:45). Mary says that Joseph was the only one to serve himself a cup of coffee in a paper cup.
  4. The cup of coffee was found in Mary’s wastebasket. She claims that Joseph entered Mr. Olson’s office with the cup in his hands, and then he left it in her desk, so she took it and threw it away.
  5. The stiletto had no fingerprints at all, but the paper cup was all covered with one type of fingerprint: Joseph’s (they had a mobile fingerprint lab).
  6. Mr. Olson’s wristwatch was broken, probably due to the fight, and it showed the time at 3:50.

Inspector Will then talked to Mary, to tell her she was under arrest.
Why did he suspect her?

Answer: 1. The watch could not have been broken during a fight. It was clear that there was not a fight because Mr. Olson was stabbed in the back through his chair. So, the time was a setup.

  1. The mess and the coffee was a setup, because there was no fight and it would be a little difficult for Joseph to enter and put on some gloves to fight with a cup of coffee in his hands
  2. The last proof is that the cup of coffee only had one type of fingerprints. If Mary touched the cup (which she says she did), there should be some fingerprints of hers on it, unless she was wearing some gloves.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
What does the following represent?

Sinatra
Lloyd Wright
Lima
Kidney
Gifford
String

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
​​​

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s