WELCOME to FRIDAY JUNE 18, 2021
Here’s the Story….
After a meeting several days ago, I couldn’t find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal “TSA Pat Down.”
They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”
There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off!”
Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, can you come and get me?”
He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!”
Welcome to the golden years…
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT FATHER’S DAY WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
There’s a new report that says more than half of American workers didn’t use all their vacation
days last year. They had them, they just didn’t take them. So the people who did the study asked
why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs,
knives, and the last three Nicolas Cage movies.” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a new study, the recommendation that people need eight glasses of water per day
is a myth. I think we figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of water and still survived.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with
patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a
woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed
that his hunch was correct, he said, “So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?”
“Well, I suppose,” she replied, “I’m still cooking it.” 😳
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Wanna ride on my Segway?”
Answer: Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Paul Blart is an overweight man whose wife died recently. He lives with his only daughter and his mother and he cannot seem to get a date, not even online. He finally meets someone at the mall named Amy, and he begins to fall in love with her. He asks her to ride on the Segway, in which she replies “Won’t you get in trouble?” Paul says “Yes, I could lose my job.” Of course, Amy still takes a ride on the Segway.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
A Swaffergy is a word that can be broken up into two parts: a different word and a letter of the English Alphabet.
The word “defense” is a common Swaffergy. It can be broken up into the letter “D”, and the word “Fence”. As a Swaffergy, it would be written like this:
D + A structure serving as an enclosure, a barrier, or a boundary, usually made of posts or stakes joined together by boards, wire, or rails.
Which will give you “D-Fence”, or “defense”.
Can you find the answers to the following Swaffergies?
- D + Plural of 12 inches
- D + A young cow or bull
- D + A narrative of real or imaginary events; a story
- D + Dispatch
- D + French playwright
- D + A surface of an object
- D + Of superior quality, skill, or appearance
- D + A garland of flowers, especially one worn around the neck
- D + What a lamp makes
- D + A displayed structure bearing lettering or symbols, used to identify or advertise a place of business
Answer: 1. Defeat (D-Feet)
- Decaf (D-Calf)
- Detail (D-Tale)
- Descend (D-Send)
- Describe (D-Scribe)
- Decide (D-Side)
- Define (D-Fine)
- Delay (D-Lei)
- Delight (D-Light)
- Design (D-Sign)
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Ms. Arroyo asked the class to see if they could find the sum of the first 50 odd numbers. As everyone settled down to their addition, Terry ran to her and said, “The sum is 2,500.” Ms. Arroyo thought, “Lucky guess,” and gave him the task of finding the sum of the first 75 odd numbers. Within 20 seconds, Terry was back with the correct answer of 5,625.
How does Terry find the sum so quickly?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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