Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JUNE 24, 2021

Here’s The Story….

This is for anyone who wonders why folks from other countries have a bit of trouble with the English language; it is a clever piece put together by … an English teacher, who else??

NOTE: Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.

So, you think English is easy? Here’s why it’s not:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove doveinto the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese, so one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“People have been selling fake parking spaces. They charge people to park in spots
that they have no ownership of. Here’s a tip to avoid becoming a victim of this fraud.
If you find a parking space during the festival, it’s a scam.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a
stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers

“One of the winners of this year’s Scripps National Spelling Bee has an older brother
who won the competition in 2014. Or as their dad put it, ‘I’m just going to throw
these baseball mitts away.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up on the floor as though he were ill. She said,
“Johnny what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m gonna have a wife!” 😳😁😎

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.”

Answer: “Ghostbusters”
One of Bill Murray’s (as Dr. Peter Venkman) wonderful tongue-in-cheek understatements in 1984’s “Ghostbusters” was “Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.”
The giant Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Created by Gozer to be the “Destructor” from Dr. Ray Stanz’s (Dan Aykroyd) thoughts, Mr. “Stay-Puft” is eventually destroyed by the team’s proton streams. The American Film Institute ranked the film #28 (out of 100) of the best comedy films of all time in 2000. “Ghostbusters” also starred Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis. Directed by Ivan Reitman, the film had two Academy Award nominations (Best Visual Effects, Original Song).

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You’re not from around here, are you? “

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
A man was running away from an elderly couple who wanted to kill him. Although chased, the man still taunted his pursuers. Soon, more people chased the man. The man, desperate on escaping from his pursuers, agreed to let a friendly stranger help him, but later the stranger betrayed the man and killed him.

Who was the man and who was the friendly stranger?

Answer: The man was the Gingerbread Man.
The friendly stranger was the fox.

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
I still have 7 more things to put away and time is running out fast. Next I decide to put away the giant’s board games.

The colors of the board games are blue, brown, green, orange, purple, red, and yellow.

  1. Purple is somewhere to the left of green.
  2. Red is next to blue.
  3. Brown is 3 away from blue (2 between).
  4. Yellow is 2 away from red.
  5. Blue is in the middle.
  6. Orange is directly between yellow and purple.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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