WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 1, 2021
I don’t enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
Velcro — what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes
on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order.” -Conan O’Brien
“Summer officially begins tonight. So if you’re wondering why your kids stopped
going to school, that’s probably the reason.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A company has developed a smart duvet, which can control a person’s body temperature.
The way it works is, when you get hot you kick it off.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Spanish never came easily to my sister. Still, she did her best to communicate with the
Spanish-speaking staff at the restaurant she managed. But when she made mistakes-and
she made a lot-she’d apologize by saying, “Me estupido.”
Finally, a staffer took pity on her. “Susanna, you’re not estupido,” she said, bucking up my
sister’s ego. “You are a woman,” she continued. “So you are estupida.” 😳😁😎
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you?
Answer: “Bull Durham”
This scene is my personal favorite of the entire film, although it would be difficult for me to explain why. Probably due to Wuhl’s wonderfully deadpan style, but who knows? “Sports Illustrated” listed “Bull Durham” as the ‘Greatest Sports Movie’ in 2003; in 2008 it ranked #5 in AFI’s top ten sports films. The film was directed by Ron Shelton, who played minor-league ball during his early 20s and tapped in on his experiences while writing the script. “Bull Durham” starred Kevin Costner (whose character, Crash Davis, was modeled after William Holden’s Pike Bishop character in “The Wild Bunch”) and real life couple Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon (who first met during filming).
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Aviva was planning to take a trip around the world. She liked names that were similar to hers, so she made a list of places she would like to visit.
However, one of these places doesn’t belong. Which one is it?
Daba Qabad, Somalia
Krape Park, United States
Answer: Ilokano, Polynesia. The rest of the places are palindromes, like her name
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
In your future and in your past
I come and go so senseless and fast
My purpose is unknown to all
Remembrance seems to drift then fall
I travel by night and fade by day
Because that is my common way
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.