WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 5, 2021
Here’s the Story….
There was a poor, distraught man sitting at the bar of his local watering hole, just staring into his drink.
He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble-maker walks through the door; leather biker jacket,
neck-beard, tattoos and sunglasses. He sees the poor, lonely man, moping at the bar by himself and
decides to have a little fun. Walking up to the bar he reaches over and grabs the guy’s glass and drinks it down in one go.
Immediately the poor man starts crying. The bully says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“No, it’s not that,” the man replies, wiping his tears. “It’s just that this has been the worst day of my life.
First, I oversleep go in late to the office. My boss losses his temper and fires me. When I leave the building
to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, and
when I get out, I forget my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my
wife in bed with my neighbor. So I left my home, come to this bar, and just when I was thinking about
putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.” 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“I’ve been trying to say ‘I love you’ more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family
before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista
complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable.” -Stephen Colbert
“According to a recent study, men on dating sites are more popular if they mention dancing or
cooking. Because if there’s one thing women love, it’s a man who can lie.” -Seth Meyers
“A man and his 75-year-old mom survived being lifted out of their home during a tornado by
sitting together in a bathtub. The man said the tornado didn’t traumatize him but being in
a bathtub with his mother did.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A co-worker came to work one day wearing shoes that were identical in style, only one was black
and the other brown. I quietly pointed this out to him. He smiled and said, “Unusual, aren’t they?
Believe it or not, I’ve got another pair just like this at home.”😱
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
Answer: “The Last Crusade”
The third film of the series, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” teams Indy (Harrison Ford) with his father, Dr. Henry Jones (Sean Connery) on a quest to find the Holy Grail. The above line was spoken by the immortal guardian of the Grail (the last remaining Knight of the Crusades, played by Robert Eddison) after ‘Bad Guy’ Walter Donovan (Julian Glover) drinks from the wrong chalice, rapidly ages, then turns to dust. River Phoenix played the young Indiana in the beginning of the film, which finally explained why Indy wears that beat-up fedora. Directed by Steven Spielberg and released in 1989, the film also starred John Rhys-Davies, Denholm Elliott and Alison Doody. Nominated for three Oscars in 1990, “The Last Crusade” won for Best Sound Effects Editing.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Each of the following sentences has three missing words. The first missing word of each sentence is 6 letters long, the second missing word is 5 letters long, and the third missing word is 4 letters long. All the 6 letter words are anagrams of each other, as are all the 5 letter words, and all the 4 letter words. Can you fill in the blanks?
1) Nobody would _ to the old pirate any more, because his were far too __.
2) The fans were _ as the opposition managed to the game from the home __.
3) When he decided to , he did not expect bread with his ___ every meal.
4) On many of the lake’s _ in the Spring, will be out looking for a __.
Answer: 1) Nobody would LISTEN to the old pirate any more, because his TALES were far too TAME.
2) The fans were SILENT as the opposition managed to STEAL the game from the home TEAM.
3) When he decided to ENLIST, he did not expect STALE bread with his MEAT every meal.
4) On many of the lake’s INLETS in the Spring, TEALS will be out looking for a MATE.
6 Letters: LISTEN, SILENT, ENLIST, INLETS.
5 Letters: TALES, STEAL, STALE, TEALS.
4 Letters: TAME, TEAM, MEAT, MATE.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Mike and 4 friends went to a baseball game on Saturday night. Everyone visited either the concession stand or the souvenir shop during a different inning of the game. Can you figure out each person’s full name, what inning each made their purchase, what they bought, and what seat they were sitting in?
1) The seats are numbered from left to right.
2) One person has the same first initial for both their first and last names.
3) Mike did not purchase a baseball, nor did he leave during the 3rd inning. But he did sit to the left of Donna (who bought a program to remember her first ball game).
4) The 5 friends are Mr. Waterson, Donna, the person in seat 5, the person who made their purchase during the 8th inning, and the person who bought soda.
5) The person whose last name is Redding sat somewhere to the right of Tom, and immediately to the left of the person who bought hot dogs.
6) The friends were seated from left to right in this order: the person who made a purchase during the 6th inning, the person who bought a cap, Ms. Redding, the person who bought hot dogs, and Sue (who did not buy her item in the 1st inning).
7) Mike did not buy hot dogs, he bought a cap (but not during the 6th inning).
8) The hot dogs were purchased 5 innings before Mike made his purchase (his last name is not Waterson).
9) Mr. Beals did not make his purchase during the 6th inning.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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