Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JULY 7, 2021

Language Barrier…

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

Arkansas

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back.

He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.

The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause it says: Fine For Dumping Garbage."

Y’all kin say whut y’all want ‘about the South, but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

If you want your children to listen, try talking
softly to someone else. Ann Landers

I always arrive late at the office, but I
make up for it by leaving early. Charles Lamb

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end
today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Shulz

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Kevin walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: ‘Shingles.’
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Kevin what he had….
Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, ‘Shingles..’ So the nurse gave
Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’
Kevin said, ‘Outside on the truck…
Where do you want me to unload ’em?’ 😱😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”

Answer: Airplane!
“Airplane!” is a comedy spoof based on airline disasters. The passengers in the plane are infected with a strange virus. Ted Striker (Hays) is their only hope in landing the plane safely, but he hasn’t flown a plane since his accident in the war. We see how it is soley up to Striker to save the passengers when his copilot is really a basketball player, and his flight director, McCroskey, has a substance abuse problem. (As we can tell by the above quote he made to himself, he likes to sniff glue.)
Released in 1980, “Airplane!” starred Lloyd Bridges, Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen and Peter Graves. It was directed by Jim Abrahams and David Zucker.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I have, and if you had the sense of a billy goat, you’d clean your house up ‘stead of bummin’ ’round ours.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
You can do it in vessels for getting you clean.
You can do it to fabric to stop being seen.
You are doing it when you’ve come up short.
You’ve done it too when you’ve equalled in sport.
This may sound like there should be images but then,
You can do all those things without pencil or pen.

What is the word?

Answer: DRAW
You can Draw a bath.
You can Draw curtains.
You can Draw a blank.
You draw a match in sport if the scores are equal.
You draw something to produce an image, but all the above uses of the word Draw don’t require writing implements.
The Clue: Backward becomes Back Ward (Draw)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
I am tied up at least once a day
And forced to carry ten nails.
I work diligently without any pay
And follow your many trails.

I do not smell very well
But at least I have many eyes.
I have two tongues but never yell
And I’ll bet you know my size.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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