Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 19, 2021

Here’s The Story….

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, large, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but he simply said, “How, dear?”
And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages telling about what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price and they wish to buy your goods. The sale can be made on the drums and you will make delivery by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drum-heads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”
“YAHOO,” said Abraham.
And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.
This GEEK tool soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began. That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A rare fish normally found only in the Amazon was caught yesterday in a New Jersey pond.
Researchers believe the fish got to New Jersey the same way as everyone else: by giving up.” -Seth Meyers

“Facebook has just added a new tool for finding help during disasters. Unfortunately, then
Facebook shows you photos of your friends having a much better time during their disasters.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study found that most people can’t go 10 minutes without lying. But since the study
took 20 minutes nobody knows what to believe.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A wife asked her husband, “Honey, could you please run to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk cartons.
Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife asked, “Why the hell did you buy so much milk?”
Her husband said, “They had eggs.” 😳😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?”

Answer: Footloose!
This is one of the first things Ren (Bacon) says to Willard (Penn) after Willard calls him out on bumping into him in the hallway, on Ren’s first day at school. After becoming friends, Ren, Willard and Ariel (Singer) try to change their town’s strict laws on dancing. Ren can not understand why dancing is such a problem until he learns of the fatal accident of Ariel’s older brother, involving alcohol and music. “Footloose” was released in 1984, and starred Kevin Bacon and Lori Singer. It was directed by Herbert Ross.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Death by stereo!”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I walk, but have no legs. I sleep, but never dream. You can
rock me in a cradle, but I am not a baby and I can go around
the world faster than you can cross a room.
What am I?

Answer: A yo-yo.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Oxymorons are not thick bovines, but two words, with opposite meanings, linked together to form a descriptive phrase. As an example, golfers play with metal woods.

Take a word from the top list, pair it with a word from the second, and find all 7 oxymorons.

LIST ONE: fine, dry, awfully, slipped, sweet, good, standing

LIST TWO: jump, good, sorrow, sherry, drizzle, up, grief

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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