Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 29, 2021

Here’s The Story….
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change
the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got
angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto
John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the
economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from social media over
the weekend, after users compared the character to their president. Though it seems
like it would just be easier to just get their president to put some pants on.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health
problems. Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Mrs. Broomfield’s dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman.
He couldn’t accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day,
she told him: “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail
you the check. By the way, don’t worry about my Rottweiler. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do,
do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!”

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Broomfield’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and
meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.

But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant squawking and talking.
Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled: “Shut up, you stupid bird!”
To which the parrot replied: “Get him, Brutus! 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“There is a smell in here that is gonna outlast religion”

Answer: Kenny!
“Kenny” is an affable porta-loo specialist who cheerfully gets down to the business end of servicing festivals, events and even the Melbourne Cup!
In this scene, Kenny (Shane Jacobson) is inside the hopefully empty disposal tank when his work-mate Sammy (Ian Dryden) is whining continually about fellow worker, Pat (Chris Davis). Kenny very politely points out to Sammy that it is extremely hard to concentrate on his complaints given the aroma in the tank.
Ask any young Aussie which movie this quote is from and they’ll immediately tell you “Kenny”.
The movie was written by Shane and his brother Clayton, directed by Clayton and also featured roles by Shane’s father and son. It won 6 Australian Movie Awards including best actor.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Warvan, you shall be avenged”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Insert a word from group B into a word from group A to form a larger word. (Try & Eat = Treaty)

Group A
Slight
Bless
King
Pain
Hock
Shed
Rue
Hen
Wing

Group B
One
Now
Lad
Eight
Tar
Even
Cat
Itch
Add

Answer: 1. Starlight

Boneless
Knowing
Paladin
Haddock
Scathed
Revenue
Heighten
Witching

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

Perfu (–) rge
Barb (–) itor
Again (–) ain
Sta (–) sture
Giraf (–) deral
Featu (–) medy

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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