WELCOME to TUESDAY AUGUST 3, 2021
Here’s The Story…..
A woman dies after a long illness, and finds herself just outside of heaven, at the pearly gates. As she peers inside,
she sees people she knew from her life on earth enjoying themselves, laughing, and looking quite happy.
Just then, St Peter comes along, and she asks him:
“Is this heaven? How can I enter the gates?”
St Peter replies: “Yes, this is heaven. All you have to do is spell one word for me, and you’ll be free to enter.”
“What word?,” she asks. “Please tell me!”
“Spell LOVE,” and you can enter, replied St Peter.
Relieved, she spells the word correctly, and St Peter opens the gates for her.
After she had been in heaven for some time, the woman became quite comfortable and happy, but she still missed her beloved husband who she left on the earth. As an extra way of being of service, she asks to become a helper of St Peter, along with others who greet the newcomers to heaven and usher them through the pearly gates.
Imagine her surprise one day when her husband appeared at the gates.
“Darling! I thought you’d never get here,” she says in greeting. “I have missed you so much…tell me, what have you been doing all this time? Was life hard for you after I left?”
Her husband replied: “Well, it’s good to see you, too! Yes, I have been quite busy. I was very sorry when you left,
but I was quite attracted to that cute nurse who helped you through your last days, and we ended up getting married a few months after your passing. And then – I won the lottery! Can you imagine? I was able to buy a large mansion, a new car, retired from my job, and my new wife and I traveled the world and we have had a grand life. We were on a vacation in the Greek isles and while I was water-skiing, my ski fell off and hit me in the head…so, here I am! I was sorry to leave her and the earth, but it’s really great to see you again. Gee, it looks so nice in there. Is this heaven?”
The woman looked at him, smiled sweetly, and says: “Well, imagine that! I have missed you so much, and hoped that you missed me, too…but, well, I guess life goes on – right?”
“Right!,” he said. “So, tell me…how do you like heaven? I never dreamed I’d get here. Is it easy to get in?”
“Oh, yes,” she replied. “All you have to do is spell one word”
“Okay!” he said excitedly. “What word?”
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
A new report says 60 percent of teenagers don’t have even a basic knowledge of finances.
Although in fairness, I’m 38 and I just found out this year that a 401(k) is NOT a type of marathon.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk claims he has gotten verbal approval to connect New York, Philadelphia,
Baltimore, and Washington with a high-speed train that runs in an airless tube. While the New York City
subway just introduced brand-new rotary phones.” -Seth Meyers
“A new study from the University of Sussex found that horses can recognize human emotions based on
our facial expressions. Yet another reason you should never play poker with a horse — and they never
pitch in for the pizza.” -Stephen Colbert
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, “I get up
late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax.
In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis…
When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with a nice bottle of wine. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again.”
The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, “What’s his wife’s name?”
Her husband said, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s Veranda.” 😱😳😁😎
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Come on ladies, let’s clean house.”
Answer: Practical Magic!
Sandra Bullock (Sally) and Nicole Kidman (Ginny) are sisters in a family of witches that is cursed in love and ostracized by the local townspeople. After Sally’s husband dies, it seems as if the curse is responsible and she returns to live with her Aunts. Ginny meanwhile has fallen in love with Jimmy Angelov (Goran Visnjic) who becomes very possessive and does not want her out of his sight. After he attacks Ginny, Sally comes to take her home, but ends up accidentally killing Jimmy.
After being brought back to life and then killed for a second time, Jimmy possesses Ginny’s body. Sally calls on the other ladies in the neighbourhood to form a coven in order to exorcise Jimmy and it is after his soul falls as dust to the floor, Linda (Margo Martindale) says this line. The coven sweeps the ashes of his soul outside and reunites them with his body.
During the exorcism the curse on the family is broken allowing Sally and Detective Gary Hallett (Aiden Quinn) to fall in love. The family is also finally understood and accepted by the ladies of the town.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Mum sent me a dress!”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
It roars like thunder,
And rises higher,
While breathing fire,
This wingless wonder.
If it leaves its cave,
Drags us in its tail,
Over hill and dale,
Then you must be brave.
Early morning flight,
Silently it flies,
Slowly in the skies.
Hides before the night.
My kingdom at least,
To the brave young knight,
If you name it right.
What is this huge beast?
Answer: A Hot Air balloon.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
A man’s life was at an all time low. He lost his job, his wife, his house; and now his mom just died in a car accident. After the funeral, a man approached him and told him that his mom had taken a mortgage on the house and left him nothing except one thing. It was a note that read:
Dear my only son,
Thhaenrge! Tmhoe Bnaecykiyarsd
After he read the note, he finally got a smile on his face. What did his mom tell him in the note?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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