Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY AUGUST 4, 2021

Two Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements…..
Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (Don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. 
Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. 
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. 
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

War is God’s way of teaching
Americans geography.
Ambrose Pierce

If you want your children to listen, try talking
softly to someone else.
Ann Landers

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a
Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.
Arthur C. Clarke

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere
in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Bill Water

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A police officer called the station on his radio.
“I have an interesting case here. An elderly lady just shot her husband
for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
“Well…have you arrested the woman?”
“Not yet. The floor’s still wet.” 😁

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Mum sent me a dress!”

Answer: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!
Ron Weasley said this in ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’. He opened something that his mom sent and saw that they were dress robes. He first thought it was Ginny’s until Hermione told him it was his. This movie was about Harry’s fourth year at Hogwarts. There was a contest called the Triwizard Tournament between three schools (Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang). One person from each school had to participate in three dangerous tasks, but they had to be over 17 years old. Somehow, Harry’s name came out of the Goblet, even though he did not put it in. Therefore, even his friend, Ron, had thought that Harry put his name in without telling him.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I never pretended to be somebody else. It’s been me all along.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
A man’s life was at an all time low. He lost his job, his wife, his house; and now his mom just died in a car accident.
After the funeral, a man approached him and told him that his mom had taken a mortgage on the house and
left him nothing except one thing. It was a note that read:
Dear my only son,
Thhaenrge! Tmhoe Bnaecykiyarsd
After he read the note, he finally got a smile on his face. What did his mom tell him in the note?

Answer: If you don’t understood what it read, it said:
“Hang in There! Money is in the back yard.”
Explanation: ThHaEnRgE! TmHoE BnAeCyKiYARsD
If you can read, you can see the “hang” is literally in “there” and “money is” is literally in “the backyard”.
By the way, the mom hid the money in the garden, if you were wondering.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
I can be as blue as the sky or have a white top.

I roll through my world and crash into yours.

I can be as gentle as a newborn puppy or as vicious as an angered bull, ripping through anything I find.

I will topple anything you put in my way if I am strong enough.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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