WELCOME to FRIDAY AUGUST 6, 2021
⇒ I don’t enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.
⇒ I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
⇒ When chemists die, they barium.
⇒ Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
⇒ I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
⇒ How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
⇒ I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
⇒ This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
⇒ I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
⇒ I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
⇒ They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
⇒ We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
⇒ I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
⇒ Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
⇒ When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
⇒ Broken pencils are pointless.
⇒ I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
⇒ What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
⇒ England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
⇒ I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
⇒ I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
⇒ All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
⇒ I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
⇒ Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
⇒ Velcro — what a rip off!
⇒ A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
⇒ Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
⇒ The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
⇒ Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
All men are equal before fish.
People who think they know everything are a
great annoyance to those of us who do.
My pessimism extends to the point of even
suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.
Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what
you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Laurence J. Peter
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you
don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind,
and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been
completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.
Hellloooo …? Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what
his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
Helllooooo? It’s been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.
He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot. 😳😱
Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“To be honest, it was tough, man. T-U-P-H.”
Answer: Sky High!
This was said by Zach in “Sky High”. He said it when Will asked him how his summer was. Zach told Will that it was tough because he did not discover his power until late that month.
This movie was about a guy named Will Stronghold going to a school called Sky High. He was in the hero support class until he discovered his powers. When he discovered that he had the power to be super-strong, he got into the hero class. But he started hanging out with the ‘super’ people rather than his friends, and forgot things he was supposed to do.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You really scared me, if that’s what you wanted. Is that what you wanted?”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
A riddle game is played below,
Can you name this charming fellow?
Someone looks me in the eye
I know who, and I know why
I know them well, and they know me
A very special bond, have we
We share the same thoughts, and the same place
We agree always in every case
Linked to the very last degree
If I should die then so would he
I never see my friend once blink
Nor twice nor ever, I should think
Though I will see him sometimes wink
But I see him come to the very brink
Of when his eyes will finally blink
Everyone has a friend like mine
Some hate them, some think them fine
Some people love them more than air
Whilst others wish they were not there
Mine will not move without consent
Though I could not make him repent
I like him, though, for when I smile
He smiles back for all the while
Answer: A reflection
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
This is considered by some to be the ultimate tool. With its waterproof properties, it was quickly adopted for a specific military application when originally introduced. The US Government also has recommended that all homes have it available. Along with its waterproof properties, it is known for its superior bonding, is heat resistant, and is extremely strong. It is easy to use with no training required, and is widely available in various sizes and colors. NASA thinks so highly of this, it is included on every flight that leaves the launch pad. No home, military unit, or spacecraft should be without it.
What type of tool is this?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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