Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY AUGUST 11, 2021

20 Things you should have learned by middle age….
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
It’s not the jeans that make you look fat.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of
what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth
has a chance to get its pants on.” – Winston S Churchill

“If a book about failures doesn’t sell,
is it a success?” – Jerry Seinfeld

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees
and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s:
She changes it more often.” – Oliver Herford

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won’t understand what we’re saying.
I didn’t realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.
An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup.
Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, “Boy is she r-u-d-e!”
“Yeah,” he replied, “but I’ll bet she can s-p-e-l-l.” 😳😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“We do not speak his name!”

Answer: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone!
Mr. Ollivander told this to Harry in ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’. He told Harry about Voldemort’s wand and Harry’s wand being similar and Harry asked who Voldemort was.
This movie was about Harry’s first year of Hogwarts. He made two best friends. It was a dangerous year though, because he had to wrestle a troll on Halloween, barely escaped from a three-headed dog, almost fell on the ground from a broom in the sky, lived with his aunt and uncle, saw Voldemort on the back of someone’s head, and had to fight one of his teachers to save the wizarding world.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Crazy Billy Bob is at it again! Apparently, the last state he visited wasn’t quite up to par again. This time, it had something to do with a strange allergic reaction to Camellias….

Once again, Crazy Billy Bob sets out for ten more U.S. states, on his search for a new home. Can you figure out what states he visited next by the clues listed below?

  1. A game played on a court with “love” + Large Body of Water
  2. Mr. Sip’s Wife + A Small, Round Vegetable Found in a Pod
  3. Male Name + Male Name + First Letter of Alphabet
  4. A Metric Unit Equal to 100 Square Meters + A Metal Cylinder That Holds Food + Cut
  5. Mr. Sirry’s Single Daughter
  6. Another Word for Sick + To Cause Slight Irritation to Another
  7. Native American + First Letter of Alphabet
  8. Male Name + Repeat
  9. Whisk
    ……sin……..
  10. Very Tiny + A Carbonated Beverage

Answer: Crazy Billy Bob went to:

  1. Tennis Sea (Tennessee)
  2. Mrs. Sipp Pea (Mississippi)
  3. Louis Ian A (Louisiana)
  4. Are Can Saw (Arkansas)
  5. Miss Sirry (Missouri)
  6. Ill Annoy (Illinois)
  7. Indian A (Indiana)
  8. Mich Again (Michigan)
  9. Whisk ON Sin (Wisconsin)
  10. Mini Soda (Minnesota)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
What is represented here?

Spring – Hola
Summer – Bonjour
Fall – Hello
Winter – Aloha

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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