Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY AUGUST 13, 2021

Favorite Police Emergency Calls:

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Darn….
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A five-year-old girl who ran a lemonade stand in London was fined $195 for not having
the proper trading permit. See, this is why I make my kids open their lemonade stands
offshore on the Cayman Islands.” -James Corden

“According to Vanity Fair, the Queen of England has four alcoholic beverages every day,
including a glass of champagne before bed. Champagne before bed?
Who does she think she is, herself?” -Seth Meyers

“A new study finds that George Clooney has the most handsome face because of his eyes,
nose, chin, and mouth. In other words, he has the most handsome
face because of his face.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?” No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says,
“Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.” 😳

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You think that they are one thing and then they turn out to be the exact opposite.”

Answer: She’s the Man!
Duke said this to Viola in the movie, “She’s the Man”. Duke said that because he saw the real Sebastian kissing Olivia. And he told the other ‘Sebastian’ that he had liked her.
This movie was about a girl named Viola. She was in a girls’ soccer team, which they do not allow anymore. Therefore, she pretended to be a guy named Sebastian and tried out for the boys’ soccer team. She made it and had to live with a guy named Duke. But there was another problem: Viola liked Duke, Duke liked a girl named Olivia, and Olivia liked ‘Sebastian’.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“And I know there’s a reason why everybody wants it so much.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….
A number of people have broken the sound barrier, either in a super-fast car, or in nice
fancy planes. However, hundreds of years ago it was broken on horseback. How?

Answer: Many people who ride horses carry whips. They crack the whip while they ride the horse. When a whip is cracked, the tip travels faster than the speed of sound, which makes the loud snap. It actually creates a miniature sonic boom of sorts. The whip breaks the sound barrier; thus, it was broken on horseback.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Fill in the answers to the clues by using all the syllables. The number to be used is in parentheses.

A BU ER GLE IM IN ISH JO NAV POV SET STEP SUN

Military horn (2)
Make poor (4)
American Indian (3)
Foot part (2)
Evening event (2)

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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