WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 16, 2021
Here’s The Story…….
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day.
One day Betty said, ‘Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school.
Please do me one favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s softball there.’
Bertha looked up at Betty from her deathbed and said, ‘Betty, you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.’
Shortly after that, Bertha passed on.
A few nights later, Betty was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, ‘Betty, Betty.’
‘Who is it’, asked Betty, sitting up suddenly. ‘Who is it?’
‘Betty — it’s me, Bertha.’
‘You’re not Bertha. Bertha just died.’
‘I’m telling you, it’s me, Bertha,’ insisted the voice.
‘Bertha! Where are you?’
‘In heaven,’ replied Bertha. ‘I have some really good news and a little bad news.’
‘Tell me the good news first,’ said Betty.
‘The good news,’ Bertha said, ‘is that there’s women’s softball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me are here, too. Even better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always Springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ said Betty. ‘It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So, what’s the bad news?’
‘You’re pitching Tuesday.’
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A couple recently got married on a roller coaster at a Massachusetts amusement park
while their wedding guests were on the ride with them. And this is cool
- the reception was open barf.” -Seth Meyers
“A new article states that millennials have terrible conversational skills. When asked for
comment, millennials texted a series of crying frowny faces.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new survey found that a growing number of millennials want to work from home and
get more time off. They would have said more, but they had to pick up their gold star
for participating in that survey.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Three guys are debating which of their native languages is the most pleasing to the ear.
The Italian says, “Consider the phrase, ‘I love you.’ In Italian, it is: ‘Ti amo’. What a lovely sound!”
The French guy says, “True, but in French it is ‘Je t’adore’. An even more beautiful sound!”
“Unt vat’s wrong vit: ‘Ick leiber dick?” asks the German. 😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“And I know there’s a reason why everybody wants it so much.”
Hailey said this to Aquamarine in the movie, ‘Aquamarine’. She was talking about love and said that it was the closest thing people have to magic.
This movie was about two girls named Hailey and Claire. Hailey had to move, even though she did not want to. But during the night, a mermaid came to find love. She wanted to find love with a guy named Raymond. They had to help her, because if they helped a mermaid, they could get a wish and they wanted to wish Hailey did not have to move. But a girl named Cecilia wanted Raymond too. And she would do anything to get Aquamarine and him separated before he said he loved her.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Um, we’re changing my birthday party to this Saturday.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Fill in the answers to the clues by using all the syllables. The number to be used is in parentheses.
A BU ER GLE IM IN ISH JO NAV POV SET STEP SUN
- Military horn (2)
- Make poor (4)
- American Indian (3)
- Foot part (2)
- Evening event (2)
Answer: 1. Bugle (Bu gle)
- Impoverish (Im pov er ish)
- Navajo (Nav a jo)
- Instep (In step)
- Sunset (Sun set)
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Mac’s new house number has three digits. When she challenged her friends to guess it, they tried: 135, 780, 785, and 732.
“That’s amazing,” Mac said. “You’ve each guessed exactly one digit correctly and in its right place!”
What is Mac’s house number?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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