WELCOME to TUESDAY AUGUST 17, 2021
Here’s The Story…….
The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and
consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The Elders met and decided to put a
water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Episcopal Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely
trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when
the Baptists took down the water slide. But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it’s rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel on their property since !!! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A school district in Florida is eliminating homework for all school students this year.
Officials say it’s fine because a lot of students are already reading at a fifth grade level.
Unfortunately a lot of those students are in 10th grade.” -James Corden
“ABC is dropping plans for a live musical of ‘The Little Mermaid’ because of budget issues.
Also, because nobody can hold their breath underwater for two hours.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The WWE has trademarked the Bible verse numbers 3:16. It refers to one of the Bible’s
most quoted verses, John 3:16: ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that
those who believe in him shall not die but have eternal life.’ Or, as the WWE will now put it,
‘Christ-a-mania is running wild! Woo, baby!'” -Stephen Colbert
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken
down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply…
“Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex.
However, we have a few alcoholics.” 😳
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Um, we’re changing my birthday party to this Saturday.”
Answer: Odd Girl Out!
Stacey said this to Vanessa in the movie, ‘Odd Girl Out’. She said it because Vanessa did not rat her out to the principal. But it turned out, she did not change her party to that Saturday and Vanessa felt awful and tried to kill herself by taking an overdose. This movie was about a girl named Vanessa. She had perfect grades, good friends, and a friendly crush named Tony. But when she realized that her best friend, Stacey, liked Tony also, everything went downhill. She tried to get them together, but Nicky thought that she flirted with him and she turned all the other girls against her. Everyone made fun of her, which eventually got to Vanessa, who did horrible things to herself. She cut her hair and even worse, she tried to kill herself, and she did not know who her friends were anymore.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What exactly are you looking for, Apollo?”
“This is who I’m looking for. The Italian Stallion.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Mac’s new house number has three digits. When she challenged her friends to guess it, they tried: 135, 780, 785, and 732.
“That’s amazing,” Mac said. “You’ve each guessed exactly one digit correctly and in its right place!”
What is Mac’s house number?
The first digit must be 1 or 7. It can’t be 7 as only one digit is correct in each guess. So it’s 1.
The other digits in guess #1 (i.e. 3 and 5) must be incorrect. Therefore, from guess #3, the second digit is 8.
Guess #4 has a correct digit which must be its third – 2.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Once upon a time there was a dad and 3 kids. When the kids were adults, the dad was old and Death came to take the dad. The first son, who became a lawyer, begged Death to let the dad live a few more years. Death agreed. When Death came back, the second son, who became a doctor begged Death to let his father live a few more days. Death agreed. When Death came back the third son, who became a priest, begged Death to let the dad live till that candle wick burned out and he pointed to a candle. Death agreed. The third son knew Death wouldn’t come back, and he didn’t. Why not?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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