Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY AUGUST 18, 2021

My mother taught me….

...TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ~ "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
...RELIGION ~ "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
...about TIME TRAVEL ~ "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
...LOGIC ~ "Because I said so, that's why."
...MORE LOGIC ~ "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
...FORESIGHT ~ "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
...IRONY ~ "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
...about the science of OSMOSIS ~ "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
...about CONTORTIONISM ~ "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
...about STAMINA ~ "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
...about WEATHER ~ "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
...about HYPOCRISY ~ "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
...the CIRCLE OF LIFE ~ "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
...about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION ~ "Stop acting like your father!"
...about ENVY ~ "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
...about ANTICIPATION ~ "Just wait until we get home."
...about RECEIVING ~ "You are going to get it when you get home!"
...MEDICAL SCIENCE ~ "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
...ESP ~ "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
...HUMOUR ~ "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
...HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT ~ "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
...GENETICS ~ "You're just like your father."
...about my ROOTS ~ "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
...WISDOM ~ "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

my favorite:

...about JUSTICE ~ "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you." 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY!
people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Ugly truths are the biggest source of
indigestion in humans.” – Raheel Farooq

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs
should relax and get used to the idea.” – Robert A Heinlein

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that
people will insist on coming along and
trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A mom was home with her her 3-year-old son who was staring intently at the window whispering something to himself.
Curious, she snuck up beside her son, who was still very focused on the beautiful outdoor scene, just in time to hear him
whisper with extreme resoluteness… “I have got to get outta here!” 😳😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“What exactly are you looking for, Apollo?”
“This is who I’m looking for. The Italian Stallion.”

Answer: Rocky!
When the regularly scheduled opponent for boxing champion Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) has to withdraw at the last minute, the fight promoter Jergens (Thayer David) scrambles to find a suitable opponent. When none of the obvious choices are available, Apollo suggests giving a local underdog a shot. In this scene, the promoter is showing Apollo a book of Philadelphia fighters and says the first line. When Apollo spots Rocky’s nickname, he says the second. He smells a marketing bonanza. In the 1977 Academy Awards, “Rocky” won three Oscars, including Best Picture. Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, and Talia Shire were all nominated for awards but didn’t win. The famous line from this movie “Yo, Adrian” was voted as the number 80 (out of 100) all-time best movie quote by the American Film Institute.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Hey, Jay. Zed called. The high consulate from Solaxiant 9 wants floor seats for the next Bulls game.”
“All right, let’s put in a call to Dennis Rodman. He’s from that planet.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Once upon a time there was a dad and 3 kids. When the kids were adults, the dad was old and Death came to take the dad. The first son, who became a lawyer, begged Death to let the dad live a few more years. Death agreed. When Death came back, the second son, who became a doctor begged Death to let his father live a few more days. Death agreed. When Death came back the third son, who became a priest, begged Death to let the dad live till that candle wick burned out and he pointed to a candle. Death agreed. The third son knew Death wouldn’t come back, and he didn’t. Why not?

Answer: The third son went over and blew out the candle after Death left because the son said “till the candle wick burns out”, not “till the candle burns out”.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
023456789 lives ever ever ever ever

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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