WELCOME to WEDNESDAY AUGUST 25, 2021
The Best and Worst Country & Western Song Titles….
♠ I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
♠ I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
♠ Mama Get A Hammer, (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
♠ Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
♠ How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
♠ I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
♠ I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don’t Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
♠ I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
♠ I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win
♠ I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here
♠ I’ve Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over You
♠ My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
♠ Please Bypass this Heart
♠ She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger
♠ She Got the Goldmine and I Got the Shaft
♠ You Done Tore Out My Heart and Stomped that Sucker Flat
♠ If Your Phone Don’t Ring, You Know It’s Me
♠ Tennis Must Be Your Racket ‘Cause Love Means Nothin’ To You
♠ Thank God And Greyhound She’s Gone
♠ How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
♠ I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
♠ If You Don’t Leave Me Alone, I’ll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
♠ My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
♠ Oh, I’ve Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
♠ They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breakin’ Out
♠ Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
♠ You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
♠ If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You
♠ If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A new study has found that being good-looking can hurt a man’s career because the people
in charge of hiring see attractive men as a threat. So if you’re a man who was recently hired
for a new job, congratulations. You’re hideous.” -James Corden
“Experts in Israel are trying to re-create a wine used in the time of Jesus. Apparently, all
they need is some water and Jesus.” -Conan O’Brien
“Costco has to pay Tiffany’s $19 million for selling 2,500 fake Tiffany rings. Husbands don’t
know what’s worse, having to tell their wife her ring ISN’T from Tiffany, or that it IS from
Costco. ‘I’ve got bad news and worse news…'” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a sharp, three-piece tunic.
“This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said the first one.
“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.
“Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”
“Sounds good to me,” said the first woman.
But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.”
The wise King did not hesitate a moment. “The attorney must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.
“But she was willing to hew him in two!” exclaimed the King’s court.
“Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law.” 😳
Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“By the way, we had that water brought in specially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.”
“I think this meeting is over.”
Answer: Erin Brockovich!
In the events leading up to this scene, assistant Erin Brockovich (Julia Roberts) in the small law office of Ed Masry (Albert Finney) discovers that an unusually high number of illnesses, cancers and miscarriages plaguing the people in the little town of Hinkley, California are being caused by the chemical Chromium-6 in the waste water of power company Pacific Gas and Electric (PGandE). She persuades Masry to file a class-action lawsuit against PGandE. In this scene a preliminary meeting between company lawyers and Masry’s team is taking place. He has padded the seats on his side of the table with some non-lawyers from his office and told them to “just keep your mouths shut.” Brockovich says line one to PGandE Representative Ms. Sanchez (Gina Gallego) just as she is about to drink a glass of water. After hearing Brockovich she puts the glass down without drinking and says line two. “Erin Brockovich” was nominated for Best Picture in the 2001 Academy Awards but was beaten out by “Gladiator.” Julia Roberts won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role for her portrayal of Erin Brockovich. Much of this movie is based on a true story.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m too old for you.”
“I’m too old for me. That’s my predicament.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Pete’sa Pete lists prices for his extra toppings in pairs. How much does each topping cost by itself? Each price is whole-dollar increments.
Pineapple & Hot Peppers $7
Broccoli & Extra Cheese $6
Mushrooms & Onions $2
Black Olives & Hot Peppers $5
Pepperoni & Mushrooms $4
Onions & Black Olives $3
Extra Cheese & Mushrooms $5
Answer: From the list above and the note about only whole-dollar amounts we note that if Mushrooms & Onions
are $2 together they must be $1 each. From there it is simple math to figure out the following.
Black Olives $2
Extra Cheese $4
Hot Peppers $3
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are anagrams of some musical instruments popular in a particular style of music. Your task is to discover what these instruments are and the style of music. I have placed the number of letters in brackets if there are two words. Good luck.
O! A pin
A U.S. bobsled (6, 4)
A drab show
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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