WELCOME to THURSDAY AUGUST 26, 2021
SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“According to a new study, people who live near trees are richer, smarter, and
healthier – and people who live in trees make more cookies.” -Seth Meyers
“Wal-Mart is testing out an app that would allow shoppers to skip the checkout line.
Currently that service is known as shoplifting.” -Conan O’Brien
“Brace yourself, because Kraft has announced that they’ve gone natural. I first assumed that
natural meant they were doing their products in the buff. But they mean they have removed all
artificial preservatives, flavors, and dyes from their classic Mac and Cheese recipe. I don’t get it.
I was not aware, first of all, that a packet of orange dust was a technically a recipe.” -Stephen Colbert
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised.
He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I
don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.” 😳😁😎
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’m too old for you.”
“I’m too old for me. That’s my predicament.”
In this scene Rose Castorini (Olympia Dukakis) and professor Perry (John Mahoney) are walking home after eating dinner together at the Grand Ticino Italian restaurant. He would like to come in her house but she says no. When he says he is cold, she says, “You’re just a little boy and you want to be bad.” Then he invites her to his apartment and she comments with line one. He replies with line two. In the 1988 Academy Awards “Moonstruck” won three Oscars and was nominated in three more categories (including Best Picture). Best Picture that year was won by “The Last Emperor.” John Mahoney would later achieve considerable success on the American TV show “Frasier.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My parents left me that house. I was born there.”
“You’re not gonna lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Below are anagrams of some musical instruments popular in a particular style of music. Your task is to discover what these instruments are and the style of music. I have placed the number of letters in brackets if there are two words. Good luck.
O! A pin
A U.S. bobsled (6, 4)
A drab show
The style of music is traditional jazz.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
What does the following represent?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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