WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 1, 2021
A Man’s Rules…
Please note that all rules are number “1”:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining because you left it down.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. It’s genetic.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!
1. Don’t tell us to get in shape. ROUND is a shape.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A new study came out that reveals some dangerous side effects from childbirth.
The dangerous side effects women suffer include pelvic injuries,
muscle tears, and children.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than
men. And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry.” -Jimmy Fallon😳
“The jackpot is up to an enormous sum. Playing the Powerball is a great
way to spend quality time with strangers outside gas stations.” -Jimmy Kimmel
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole
sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! I smell maple syrup!”
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says “Yum! I smell honey!”
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way.
So he says, “Geez, all I can smell is….MOLASSES!” 😳
Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?”
“You think I’m hostile now? Wait ’til you see me tonight.”
Answer: My Cousin Vinny!
In the events leading up to this scene, two young men from New York are driving across Alabama when they are stopped and jailed on suspicion of robbery and murder. The lawyer they choose to represent them is Vincent “Vinny” Gambini (Joe Pesci), a cousin of one of them, but he has very little experience with none of it being on murder cases. In this scene Vinny wants to question his girlfriend Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) as an automotive expert, but she doesn’t want him to. He asks the judge (Fred Gwynne) if he can question her as a hostile witness with line one and she then comments to Vinny with line two. When the judge asks if they know each other and Vinny explains she is his fiancée, the judge remarks, “Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.” Marisa won for Best Actress in a Supporting Role at the 1993 Academy Awards. Seeing her in tight stretch pants with a Brooklyn accent in the Deep South was hilarious.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Your name is John Coffey?”
“Yes sir, boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
What types of desserts are represented below?
Note: Most are Rebuses, some of which are implied by the language.
1) MrIxolite: “Aaaaaagh!”
2) Ban ana
3) King & Queen Cherry ascended the throne 25 years ago today.
6)Full Full Full
7)Claires on the internet
Answer: 1) Ice cream (I scream)
2)A Banana Split
4) Lemon Mousse (Lem on Moose)
5)Strawberry Short Cake
6)Trifle (Tri Full)
7)Eclaires or E-Claires
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.