Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 2, 2021

Medical Info For Women…
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.?

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A Florida man was arrested for throwing potato salad at a nail salon. During his arrest, he said, ‘I’ve been drinking
and taking Xanax. What do you expect me to do?’ Well, not that, although I do sympathize. When I was trying
to give up carbs, I once threw a bowl of spaghetti at a karate studio.” -James Corden

“A New Jersey restaurant is offering a special menu this month that doesn’t list prices, but instead asks customers
to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign in the window, the restaurant is called ‘This Space for Rent.'” -Seth Meyers

“China just installed new public bathrooms in Beijing that actually offer Wi-Fi. Yeah, a Wi-Fi-enabled bathroom.
Or as we call that here in America, Starbucks.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
We had to have our garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not
have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.”
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, “NO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.”
We haven’t used Sears repair since. 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Your name is John Coffey?”
“Yes sir, boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.”

Answer: The Green Mile!
In this scene, Depression-era death row prison guard, Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks), takes custody of huge prisoner John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan), who is accused of murdering two little girls (he is later seen by the guards to be innocent). Edgecomb asks the first line as he checks his clipboard, after he and several other guards escort Coffey to his new cell, and Coffey responds with line two. Coffey’s magical powers then lead to some amazing events. In the 1995 Academy Awards, “The Green Mile” was nominated for four awards, including Best Picture, but didn’t win any. Best Picture that year went to “American Beauty.” The scene showing Coffey watching Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing (in the 1935 movie “Top Hat”) to the song “Cheek to Cheek” and the line “I’m in Heaven…” is a real tearjerker. This movie is based on a Stephen King novel.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I think I know what “If you build it, he will come” means.”
“Ooh… why do I not think this is such a good thing?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.

1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.

Answer: 1) New Delhi (New Deli), India
2) Moscow (Moss Cow), Russia
3) Warsaw (War Saw), Poland
4) Kingston (King’s Ton), Jamaica
5) Beirut (Bay Root), Lebanon
6) Khartoum (Car Tomb), Sudan
7) Budapest (Buddha Pest), Hungary
8) Quito (Key Toe), Ecuador
9) Bern (Burn), Switzerland
10) Belgrade (Bell Grade), Serbia and Montenegro

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

Ace, Allie, Carl, Carla, Dora, Draco, Emma, Eric, Jacob, June, Kaleb, Luke, Qin, & Tina are divided equally between a red and a blue team. Can you figure out who is on what team?

Everyone with E at the end of their names are on the same team.

Everyone with a letter that is only in their name is on the same team.

Everyone with the most found letter in their names are split evenly between teams.

Jacob & Emma are on the same team.

Carl and Eric are on the red team.

Except for one pair, everyone that has the same first letter are on the same team.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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