WELCOME to MONDAY SEPTEMBER 13, 2021
Here’s The Story….
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound
patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, an gasoline station was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas
can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on
the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to
the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline,
and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Presbyterians
watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
When our ship stopped in the Atlantic Ocean for a ‘swim call,’ the chief boatswain noticed
how nervous I was. “Don’t worry,” he assured me. “You are never more than three miles
from land.” Then he added, “Straight down.”
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all
too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with
the phrase “Regards” again.
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed “FOR SALE BY OWNER” signs on two trees
in our front yard. Before long, the doorbell rang. “How much do you want for the trees?”
a young man asked.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the
Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: “There is no easy
way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year.”
Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her
hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.
She met the Tarot reader’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I get away with it?” 😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Stop! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!”
“Hey man, this is MY car. I OWN this car. It’s NOT stolen.”
In the events leading up to this scene, disgruntled explosives expert Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) attempts to collect the disability settlement he thinks he is due by booby trapping a high-rise elevator and demanding a ransom. However, the L.A.P.D. SWAT team, which includes Officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and Detective Harry Temple (Jeff Daniels), is able to save all the passengers and prevent Payne’s plan. He then sabotages a city bus so that it will explode if its speed drops below 50 mph, or if any passengers are removed. In this scene Traven is attempting to commandeer a car so he can speed after the bus and warn it. He shows his badge and shouts line one to cars on the freeway. The black driver of a Jaguar convertible, who initially thinks he is being stopped on suspicion of car robbery, shouts back line two. Traven then pulls out his gun and says, “It is now. Move over.” In the 1995 Academy Awards “Speed” won two Oscars and was nominated for a third. Thirteen buses were used in filming the bus scenes, including one with special hydraulic suspension to allow cornering at high speeds, one with a camera platform on the front to allow filming the driver’s face, and two that were blown up. The highway scenes were filmed on a California freeway that had just been completed but had not yet been opened to the public.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Don’t ever do nothin’ like this again. Don’t come back up here.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, Sheriff.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Soldiers line up spaced with pride,
Two long rows lined side by side.
One sole unit can decide,
If the rows will unite or divide.
Tell me, tell me, scream it out.
What’s the thing I talk about?
Answer: A Zipper
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Unscramble the words below and follow the directions in parentheses. Unscramble the new letters to get the name of a former U.S. President.
evon (take the 1st and 2nd letters)
cromaeviw (take the 5th and 9th letters)
drigef (take the 2nd and 6th letters)
knsi (take the 1st letter)
blate (take the 1st and 4th letters)
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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