Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 15, 2021

Here’s The Story…..
A retired doctor became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s Clinic. Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000.”
Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a
great opportunity to get $$$. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aaagh! — This is gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory; I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t … that is gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak; I can hardly see anything!”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, here’s your $1000 back” (giving him a $10 bill).
Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of story: Just because you’re “young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer.”

Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place,
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Charlie Chaplin

Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
Charleton Heston

If you think you are too small to make a difference,
try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie

Education is learning what you didn’t
even know you didn’t know.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t
find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the
block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.”
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note “I’ve circled this block
for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.” 😳😎😁

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Kids are scared of the dark.”
“You’re afraid of the dark, too, Marv.”

Answer: Home Alone!
In the events leading up to this scene, the large family of Kevin McAllister (Macaulay Culkin) accidentally leaves him behind when it rushes to the airport to go to France for their Christmas vacation (just prior to the family leaving, Kevin had been sent to the attic for misbehaving). Kevin prepares to spend Christmas alone, but becomes aware of two house burglars (played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) casing his neighborhood. In this scene, the burglars plan to burglarize Kevin’s house after dark, after they become aware he is home alone. Marv (Daniel Stern) is pleased by this plan and says line one. His partner Harry (Joe Pesci) responds with line two. In the 1991 Academy Awards “Home Alone” was nominated for two Oscars but didn’t win either. The posters and DVD cases for this movie (showing a wide-eyed Culkin with both hands on his face) is often compared to the famous painting “The Scream” by Edvard Munch.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Pardon me, sir, but I lost my ID in… in a flood and I’d like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me?”
“Why certainly. I lost my wife, too – her name wasn’t Idy, though, and it wasn’t in a flood – but I know what ya… “

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

ey____es (stood up)
li____er (open meshed fabrics)
r____ant (body part)
for____b (distance)

Answer: 1. eyesores (ROSE – ey_ESOR_es)

listener (NETS – li_STEN_er)
resonant (NOSE – r_ESON_ant)
forelimb (MILE – for_ELIM_b)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
An ice cream truck drives down Prince Albert Road every day. Yesterday, 5 children, one from each of the first 5 houses on the street, ordered a different ice cream flavour and a different topping. Can you figure out which child lives in which house and which ice cream flavour and topping each bought?
REMEMBER: The odd numbered houses are on one side of the street and even numbers are on the other!

1.Benjamin lives between the child who chose the Cherry topping and the child who chose strawberry ice cream.

2.Karen, whose house has an even number, chose the sprinkles topping. Elaine does not live next to Karen.

3.The grapenut ice cream had no topping.

4.The child who lives in house number 2 had the vanilla ice cream. The child in house number 3 did not have moon mist ice cream.

5.Steven had chocolate ice cream. He hates chocolate sprinkles.

6.The child who had the chopped nuts topping lives in house number 5. Tom does not live in house number 4.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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