WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 28, 2021
Here’s The Story….
Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and space shuttles, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made to borrow the gun. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer’s backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified, Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and asked the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA’s response was just one sentence: “Thaw the chicken.”😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Target announced that it will hire 100,000 seasonal employees during the holidays.
Ten of them will be on the register; the rest will wander around saying,
‘I don’t work in this department.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The governor of California is working on a plan to build two tunnels that will bring
water to Southern California. Of course, it’s California, so one tunnel is for flat water,
the other sparkling with lime.” -Conan O’Brien
“McDonald’s is unveiling something called a Nutella burger at its locations in Italy. This
goes against the traditional way of eating Nutella, which is with two fingers in the
dark while crying at 3 a.m.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
At a boat rental concession, the manager went to the lake’s edge and yelled through
his megaphone, “Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up.” Several minutes passed,
but the boat didn’t return. “Boat number 99,” he again hollered, “return to the dock
immediately or I’ll have to charge you overtime.” “Something is wrong here, boss,” his
assistant said. “We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99.” The manager thought for
a moment and then raised his mega-phone: “Boat number 66,” he yelled. “Are you having trouble out there?” 😳
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You want me to hold the chicken, huh?”
“I want you to hold it between your knees.”
Answer: Five Easy Pieces!
In this scene Bobby Dupea (Jack Nicholson) is in a diner with some friends and is frustrated in placing his order. He orders a side of plain toast to go with his omelet but the waitress (Lorna Thayer) tells him there are no substitutions and no side orders. He then orders a chicken salad sandwich but wants to hold everything except the toast. When the surprised waitress says line one, Bobby sarcastically says line two. “Five Easy Pieces” was nominated for four Oscars in the 1971 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. However, Best Picture that year was won by “Patton.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I feel you will have to deal with this matter in the harshest possible way, Mr. Torrance.”
“There’s nothing I look forward to with greater pleasure, Mr. Grady.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Put this on,
And warm you’ll be.
Take one off,
And an emotion, you’ll see.
Answer: When you put on a GLOVE, you’ll be warm. Take off the letter G, and LOVE is left.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Six words have had their vegetables removed. The vegetables have been placed into Group A. The remaining letters of each word have been placed into Group B. Your task is to reconstitute the words by merging each vegetable with the proper set of letters. Other than merging the two groups together, there is no rearranging of the letters. Example: sand + pne = spanned (SpANneD).
Group A: bean, beet, corn, kale, pea, radish
Group B: acdio, bning, lieb, nfi, rthig, scagot
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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