Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 29, 2021

What I Learned At The Movies…
✇ – During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
✇ – All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
✇ – All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
✇ – The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and
you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
✇ – The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
✇ – A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
✇ – If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
✇ – When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
✇ – Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
✇ – Computers never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
✇ – Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
✇ – The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective – or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
✇ – Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
✇ – Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
✇ – It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
✇ – Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
✇ – All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
✇ – It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
✇ – A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
✇ – If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
✇ – Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
✇ – You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
✇ – Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds – unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
✇ – An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
✇ – When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the
choice of how you’re going to live through this.” — Celine Dion

“Life is never easy. There is work to be done and obligations to be met –
obligations to truth, to justice, and to liberty.” — John F. Kennedy (JFK Quotes)

“Live for each second without
hesitation.” — Elton John

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance,
you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein

“Life is really simple, but men insist on
making it complicated.” — Confucius

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be
lived to be understood.” — Helen Keller

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly
satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great
work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.
As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
Wrinkles don’t hurt.
Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts
Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground…
Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside..
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..😁

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I feel you will have to deal with this matter in the harshest possible way, Mr. Torrance.”
“There’s nothing I look forward to with greater pleasure, Mr. Grady.”

Answer: The Shining!
In the events leading up to this scene, would-be writer Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) has been hired as the winter caretaker of the isolated Overlook Hotel, in the secluded mountains of Colorado, and moves his family there. In this scene delusional Jack meets butler Delbert Grady (Philip Stone) and is convinced he was an earlier caretaker who went berserk and killed his family. In this scene Grady makes a suggestion with line one and Jack replies with line two. As Grady explains, “And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I “corrected” her.” In a famous scene from this movie Jack Torrance chops through a locked bathroom door to get at his terrified wife Wendy. Jack Nicholson improvised the line “Heerreee’s Johnny!” in this scene. The look in Nicholson’s eyes is chilling. This movie is based on an early Stephen King novel and is one of my favorites.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m too intellectual but I think it’s a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?”
“I collect spores, molds, and fungus.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Six words have had their vegetables removed. The vegetables have been placed into Group A. The remaining letters of each word have been placed into Group B. Your task is to reconstitute the words by merging each vegetable with the proper set of letters. Other than merging the two groups together, there is no rearranging of the letters. Example: sand + pne = spanned (SpANneD).

Group A: bean, beet, corn, kale, pea, radish
Group B: acdio, bning, lieb, nfi, rthig, scagot

Answer: bean + rthig = breathing (BrEAthiNg)
beet + nfi = benefit (BEnEfiT)
corn + acdio = accordion (aCcORdioN)
kale + lieb = likeable (liKeAbLE)
pea + scagot = scapegoat (scaPEgoAt)
radish + bning = brandishing (bRAnDISHing)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
In each of the following words, three letters, indicated by *’s, are missing. Each missing triplet is the
name of an animal. Can you fill them in so that each creates a common word?

EDUION PRESOR
BRRY PYID

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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