Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY OCTOBER 1, 2021

Here’s The Story….
The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich,
they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.’ The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. ‘Why, nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in Heaven.’ The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
‘What are the greens fees?,’ grumbled the old man. ‘This is heaven,’ St. Peter replied. ‘You can play for free, every day.’ Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. ‘Don’t even ask,’ said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.’
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,’ he asked.
That’s the best part,’ St. Peter replied. ‘You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like
and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!’
The old man pushed, ‘No gym to work out at?’
‘Not unless you want to,’ was the answer.
‘No testing my sugar or blood pressure or…’
‘Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.’
The old man glared at his wife and said, ‘You and your freakin’ bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!’😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A rich man is nothing but a
poor man with money.
W. C. Fields

Insanity is hereditary; you
get it from your children.
Sam Levenson

He knows nothing; he thinks
he knows everything – that
clearly points to a political career.
George Bernard Shaw

Everything is funny, as long as it’s
happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Texas cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly gates.
Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St Peter asked.
‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered.
‘Once, on a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a
young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached t he largest
and most heavily tattooed biker, smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring,
and threw it on the ground.’ I yelled, ‘Now back off!! Or I’ll kick the heck out of all of you!!’
St. Peter was impressed, ‘When did this happen?’
‘Just a couple of minutes ago…’ 😳😬😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“When Disneyland opened in 1956, nothing worked.”
“Yes, but John when the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.”

Answer: Jurassic Park!
In the events leading up to this scene, entrepreneur John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) has learned how to extract DNA from the blood of prehistoric mosquitoes entombed in clumps of hardened amber and has successfully cloned dinosaurs from that. He plans to create a park and exhibit these creatures behind electrified fences to paying tourists. In this scene a T-rex dinosaur has broken out of its enclosure and has eaten a smaller dinosaur. Hammond downplays the significance of this and says line one to some visiting scientists. Visitor Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) responds with line two. (Note: Although Disneyland actually opened on July 17, 1955, Hammond says 1956.)
In the 1994 Academy Awards “Jurassic Park” won three Oscars, including Best Visual Effects. Industrial Light & Magic (ILM), the special effects company started by George Lucas in 1975, created the digital dinosaurs in the “Jurassic Park” movie and sequels. Some other hits that ILM has contributed to include all the “Star Wars” sequels and prequels, the “Indiana Jones” movies, the “Men In Black” movies, “Forrest Gump,” “Twister,” “The Perfect Storm,” the “Mummy” movies, “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” and the “Harry Potter” films.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Everybody calls him that.”
“Not to his face, they don’t.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….
What phrase is represented below?

YOUR LIONS
Gulp UR LIONS
GulpGulp LIONS
GulpGulpGulp NS
GulpGulpGulpGulp

Answer: Swallow Your Pride
Collective noun for Lions = Pride

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Each of the sentences below use two words which are synonyms of each other, but here in these sentences,
they are not used with the same meaning. Can you find the words ?

You cannot _ to imagine what a you gave me.
Service is my _ name, you will always find me in the community __.
The cook used the largest _ to make a stew for the full compliment of the .
They agreed to meet outside the _ of justice for their _.
I know you will _ me for this purchase, I cannot _ you.
The _ of bids for the _ of Eros was unparalleled.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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