Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY OCTOBER 4, 2021

No One Thought…..
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp–
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How’d all these sinners get up here?
God must’ve made a mistake.

‘And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber – give me a clue.’
‘Hush, child,’ He said, ‘they’re all in shock.
No one thought they’d be seeing you.’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Microsoft founder Bill Gates gave a speech yesterday. And in that speech, he apologized for
making the ctrl-alt-delete function on computers so complicated. But then he added, I mean,
I’m as sorry as I can be about something that made me $85 billion.” -James Corden

“I read that Taco Bell will start serving alcohol at some locations. So the next time you think that
YOU’RE having a bad day, imagine the guy who gets cut off by the cashier at Taco Bell.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Eighty years ago today, J. R. R. Tolkien’s book ‘The Hobbit’ was released.
To give you an idea what 80 years feels like, watch the movie.” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married
in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions.
At one meeting the priest turned to Chris and told him, “Since you are not Catholic, we shall
have the ceremony without Eucharist.” Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked
what was wrong. “I don’t understand,” he said. “How can we have the ceremony without me?” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Everybody calls him that.”
“Not to his face, they don’t.”

Answer: Bugsy!
In this scene a cab driver points out the home of Bugsy Siegel (Warren Beatty) to fellow gangster Harry Greenberg (Elliott Gould). When Greenberg says, “He doesn’t like that name” the cab driver says the first line. Greenberg replies with the second. “Bugsy” tells the mostly true story of part of gangster Bugsy Siegel’s career, although it differs from actual history on how the Flamingo hotel in Las Vegas was built. The movie shows him as a visionary, starting this project. In actuality, he muscled his way into a partially completed project (started by L.A. nightclub owner Billy Wilkerson). Benjamin Siegel got the nickname “Bugsy” from fellow gangsters because of his notoriously quick temper and the fact that many considered him as “crazy as a bedbug.” In the 1992 Academy Awards, “Bugsy” won two Oscars and was nominated for Best Picture, but lost to “The Silence of the Lambs.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Don’t do this to me, it’s humiliating.”
“For seventy grand, Herb, you can afford to be humiliated.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….
Each of the sentences below use two words which are synonyms of each other, but here in these sentences,
they are not used with the same meaning. Can you find the words ?

You cannot _ to imagine what a you gave me.
Service is my _ name, you will always find me in the community __.
The cook used the largest _ to make a stew for the full compliment of the .
They agreed to meet outside the _ of justice for their _.
I know you will _ me for this purchase, I cannot _ you.
The _ of bids for the _ of Eros was unparalleled.

Answer: 1. You cannot BEGIN to imagine what a START you gave me.

Service is my MIDDLE name, you will always find me in the community CENTER.
The cook used the largest VESSEL to make a stew for the full compliment of the SHIP.
They agreed to meet outside the COURT of justice for their DATE.
I know you will CHARGE me for this purchase, I cannot BLAME you.
The NUMBER of bids for the FIGURE of Eros was unparalleled.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Two definitions for two different words will be given. These words will differ only by their vowels.
To change a word, both adding a vowel and changing a vowel is allowed, as long as the consonants
are the same and in the same order. For example, bust to beast can be an answer.

A sticky product of trees to a type of dried fruit
A black bird to a chasm
Round object to a fee
Part of the body below the leg to a great achievement

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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