Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY OCTOBER 8, 2021

Kids Observe Life…

NUDITY

My kids have always been observant of their surroundings, but they tend to pick out details no one else would notice. I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”

KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang
so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone
to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?” “Yes,”
I answered and continued writing the report. “My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police. Is that right?” “Yes, that’s right,” I told her. “Well, then,” she said as she extended her foot
toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”

POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”

ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Life is what we make it, always
has been, always will be.” — Grandma Moses

“Life’s tragedy is that we get old too
soon and wise too late.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Life is about making an impact,
not making an income.” — Kevin Kruse

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games.
26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed
over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“Every strike brings me closer to
the next home run.” – Babe Ruth

“The two most important days in your life are the
day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members
bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming
them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa,
and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the
turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited–and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked
up at his mother and asked, “If I thank God for the broccoli, won’t he know that I’m lying?”😁

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Beg your pardon sire, but won’t we hit our own troops?”
“Yes… but we’ll hit theirs as well. We have reserves.”

Answer: Braveheart!
In this scene troops lead by English King Edward I, a.k.a. Longshanks (Patrick McGoohan) are engaging in a big battle with Scottish troops lead by William Wallace (Mel Gibson). After English troops are on the battlefield with the Scottish troops, Longshanks orders his archers to fire. One of his commanders is puzzled by this order and asks the question in line one. Longshanks replies with line two. “Braveheart” tells the mostly true story of William Wallace, a commoner (although one source says he was a Scottish lord) who unites 13th-century Scotland in its battle to overthrow English rule (although documentation about the details is sketchy, at best). Despite Longshanks portrayal in “Braveheart” as an evil villain, he actually had the best interests of his people at heart and encouraged Parliamentary institutions to replace more feudal systems (although he was ruthlessly ambitious). In the 1996 Academy Awards “Braveheart” won five Oscars, including Best Picture and Mel Gibson for Best Director.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Listen to me.”
“No, no! You listen to ME!”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
H I J K L M N O

What object does this represent?

Answer: Water. H2O (H to O)

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
S E Q U E N C _
What letter can you place on the line, other than E, to complete this sequence?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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